Gabrielle Union said the following amidst your Global Grind blog post today.
There’s something about a platonic, non-sexual male voice in your life, ideally your parent, your father, relative or brother, which should be a steady, consistent source of nothing but positivity. And having this friend inspired me to reach out to my own dad and tell him that he’s got to tell my niece everyday that she is a beautiful princess. I can tell her that she has a lovely jump shot, or she does well in school, but what she’s gonna start looking out for from other people, from other men, is to tell her how beautiful she is, and she’s gonna find validation in all the wrong ways. So, it is important to be that mentor, to be that guiding figure in her life, so she doesn’t accept validation from the wrong places.
This strikes me as a very important role that needs to be filled in a females life, IMO. We are creatures of habit and routine. What we do repeatedly and what is done to us works it's way into shaping who we are. Being that support and that affirmation for a person can go so far into helping them become comfortable in their skin.
It goes both ways too. I thank my people like Jillz and Evita cuz they understand me and my position in the world and they make it their business to drop those positive and complimentary words on my every so often. They know how a lil word or 2 can keep me sane in a world that isn't too fond of me.
I feel this applies to people of all ages. As a friend, a true friend I think it's a small thing to do for my people to be that GUY.
3 comments:
I completely agree with her as well as what you said about positivity coming from your female counter parts. It plays and active and vital role in uplifting each other and eliminating the battle of the sexes movement that has been going on forever.
sooooooo true!! I hope that if I ever become a mother, my daughter has this person in her life. If we're lucky, it'll be her dad. If not, I hope she finds it cuz I never had it. I've always had the supportive guy friend who can iron out the wrinkles in my life or give me a seemingly meaningful compliment...and then it's followed by something sexually charged. I've never had that kinda real respect from men. I end up with such a strong desire to have that validation that I end up settling for less...take what I can get, but at the end of the day, it's a temporary fix.
It's like being addicted to drugs.
reassurance = crack
I get it temporarily and the "hit" satisfies the craving...and then I'm right back to square one needing it again. I'm being told what I WANT to hear instead of sincerity.
After 25 years of the same pattern, I'm like ok this is what it is, but I can still hold out hope for other young girls.
oy vey...hello Dr. Phil!
GREAT post!!
Yep, I've thought this for a long time. I appreciate my guy friends for their candid honesty.
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