Friday, June 28, 2013
So, the month of June has been a ton of fun for me -_____-
In all seriousness it's been stressful, disappointing, nerve racking, frustrating and anger inducing on many levels. At the same time it's been illuminating, refreshing, reassuring and compelling in just as many ways. I've had more "issues" confront me in one condensed period of time then ever before and while there has been a toll taken on me I've essentially stood unfazed, unbeaten by any of it. I take my word very seriously so when accusations arose of dishonesty, misuse of information, straight up lies and threats came my way It was something I haven't faced ever in my face. I carry myself in a manner I hope represents respect and integrity and this was the 1st time it had ever been called out in public. I passed that test w/ flying colors and the brand of my Tribe rides stronger then ever.
I protect. That's what I do. I don't know who will even see this but there are many that can raise a hand and say "yes, that's what he does." I protected the business yet there was and is still a primal side of me that is dealing with some leftover anger. Not in regards to myself but seeing someone so close to me personally attacked in such a manner of pure spite, venom and jealousy had/has me truly urging to get violent and of course you just cant do that. So, we suck it up and carry on. I forgive but I DO NOT forget.
People speak on taking kindness for weakness. I don't know if that is whats most applicable to me or if I've simply enabled and been so accommodating to everything people wanted/needed that now its a difficult thing to maintain. Hell I cant even say I WANT to maintain that. I do what I do for my people A) to see them happy B) I treat folk how I want to be treated. Neither A or B is up to me to control for another person but I do my part to interject positive energy into the equation. It doesn't always compute the way I'd like it to. And when it doesn't I find myself looking in the mirror curious as to what I did to cause this. Sometimes, as I learned this past Tuesday, it's nothing more then a miscommunication, but sometimes it truly isn't my fault in any shape, form or fashion. I am in the process of realizing and accepting that people control how they wish to live. Negative situations often occur because those people aren't happy and that is transferred towards others. Often times its transferred to those that aren't negative. Why is this? I don't know but I'm not going to weigh myself down over others issues anymore.
I'm always here and will always be here for my people. From NY to CT to GA to CA, Toronto, London and more I've done this for nearly 1/2 of my life. As this next phase of existence begins I will not stop my progression for those that elect to dwell in the abyss. I've stare at it and when it stares back at me I say "Holla when you have something interesting to say" The path of negativity is a path I will not choose ever. No love lost but the over thinking, over analyzing is done. 2 + 2 = 4 and I wont question it. Everyone does what they want when it's all said and done. Once I let a person know what is important to me, if they continue in a pattern opposite to that then their position is clear and I can respect that. I told a friend I don't need apologizes. Just be honest in your actions so I know how to deal with you. I'd prefer a snake to own being a snake then a snake to claim solidarity with me.
2013 is living up to expectations.......
Posted by NightFall914 at 1:48 PM