Hump Day Topic: The Rules were made to be broken

...or maybe there really are no rules? We make are own rules? Perhaps that's what it is. The playing field has changed to a point that rules are guidelines are pretty subjective but hey we all do what works best for us. So, last night my homegurl Danyelle drop a blog detailing her Rules of Online Engagement. She geared it towards Twitter but it can be relatively applied to the internet over all. I didn't want to flood her comment section so I'm just blogging my thoughts to each of her rules from a different perspective, playing Devil's Advocate since nothing is that clear cut socially anymore.

So here our Danyelle's Rules of Engagement:

Rule #1- Reciprocation

Fellas, please don’t ask for a spicy flick of T&A and not reciprocate. That is rude, foul, and plain old selfish. If you want to see what I’m working with and I think of you highly enough to show it to you, I also need to see what you got. Call it being tit for tat but in reality, you only get what you give.

This one is interesting because in a perfect world a person would want an even "tit for tat" exchange but that's not always the case. Depending on the conversation(s), the style and the personalities of the people involved, it's very normal for the exchange of imagery to be very one sided. Especially in today's oversexed society there are females (not just the young ones) that send out pix simply for the certainty of continued attention. That is something that many guys feed off of and in turn fuels the all the "exposure" sites flooding the internet. I know as a man I'm very visual(which is feeding this sex tape desire of mine...) so images are great but never compromise yourself in what you release. A sexy image doesn't always mean Full Spread Eagle....right Cassie? Oh never mind :P

Rule #2- Stop the Side-eye

Bragging about how you can go all night and do this and that when chances are you are a one minute man. I know from experience that the man who usually says the least about his sexual skills is usually the one who will have me walking with the crook legs for weeks.

What I see a lot of now isn't as much direct bragging. But I see tons of amateur tutorials and "how to" blogs/posts. I look at it like this. Everything you've done that has had a positive response only holds as much weight as the person you had it with. This is similar to the "Your Pussy ain't Platinum: post from a while ago. Outside of porn stars we don't really need the so many BJ guides. In truth the bragging just makes us think "damn how many dicks you sucking?!?!" Many times the best thing that could be said of how you get down is by the person you got down with. ;)

Rule #3- Don’t Get Played

Fellas, if you think you’ve got a live one and she is giving you some e-attention, don’t let it go to your head. This is, after all, the Internet, and chances are if she was quick to give up virtual pussy to you, she’s DMing and AIMing the next guy. GQ, she is NOT your lady and this is NOT a real relationship so don’t get it twisted. As females, we will always get more attention from dudes online than you will from the ladies, so keep that in mind. Unless the two of you have met in person and kicked off the sex a few times in the real world and she has shown genuine interest while there is crust in your eyes during the morning after, this is not serious.


LOL, this reminds me of a convo I had with one of my boys a couple years a ago. I'm on myspace prior to our poker game, my boy sees my page and says "Damn she all over your comments man that's wassup you gonna get that?" I replied "No it's not that type of party." He was confused and I broke it down to him that what he saw as attractive images and flirtation on my page was in actuality the way this person communicates with everyone. I had no intentions on assuming there was that serious of an interest in me just to end up as a convenient ego boost for her. The internet can lead to instant gratification which the mind wasn't originally intended to get. And if you're not careful you get caught up in it all.

Rule #4- e-Stalking? NO!

This rule coincides with the previous rule. If you two decide to take your innanet sex love tryst to a whole ‘nother level and it doesn’t work out (which most of the time it won’t….womp womp), don’t e-Stalk. Women like to be chased but not backed up into a damn corner suffocating and breathing for air. Don’t over tweet or DM or AIM or BBM or whatever you do to communicate with her because it will probably make her block your ass and report you to the authorities. Know when to give it up and turn it loose, and hopefully your ego will be able to stay intact.

Damn this is one of the primary evils of the internet. When things are all good then the emails and IM access is lovely but once that person crosses the line and becomes someone you'd rather forget, the reach of technology can be a hell of a burden. Some things you can block, but others may not be as easy. And who wants to be blogging or whatever with the fear that the guy you turned down 4 months ago is silently following your every post. Its just too damn creepy.

Rule #5- Get a Real Girlfriend

There is nothing wrong with a little e-sex or phone boning or sexting, but if you are using Twitter and Myspace and Facebook as your primary way of hooking up, you are lame. Get out and interact with real females in your area and/or city. No one wants to read your tweets about being lonely or not being out on a date. The best way to rectify this is to get out and get you some real trim. If you can’t do that, then chances are, you need counseling of some kind.

I'd extend this further into "Get/Have a real life." When dealing with the opposite sex, no matter how active you are online. You should not have your on and offline life so closely intertwined. For example if you communicate online initially when meeting a person, should you meet in real life then leave the technology alone for a bit. Don't be blogging or twittering during your time with this person. Give the respect of dealing one on one with him or her and stop trying to feed the curious of your "followers" with live updates. It's really rude. You should never have an issue justing turning the internet off for a few moments.

Rule #6- Don’t Be a e-Hoe

If your entire timeline consists of you hollering at a bunch of chicks, while clever, this will do nothing but give us women watching a side-eye. Yes, we will view you as suspect. It also screams desperate and creepy too. Of course women and men like to get their flirt on, but if that is ALL you do, you may need an internet timeout for a bit.


I'm torn on this one because from a lot of things I've seen online, especially on Twitter now. Being an E-Hoe seems to get you more attention. So this one is on you. Folk know I'm "Say less do more" type but Online Attention whoring (both male and female) does seem to pay dividends for some people. I wouldn't suggest it living in the realm on Online TMI 24/7 but if it works for you then do your thing.


Feel free to drop those comments and thoughts if anything here has ever remotely applied to you. The social world is so open now that we all have tales to tell. Don't worry about rules so much just try to be safe and true.