Girl likes Guy, Guy Likes...good.
Girl loves to blog, Guy not so much......could be trouble???
Are there rules to dating a blogger? Clearly it's nothing that's written in a mystical book but the truth is that a lot of people share a hell of a lot of personal info on these blogs and you can't realistically think everyone that is referenced in this blogs is happy about it. Do you tell your partner that you blog? If so how far along into things do you bring it up? Do you keep it too yourself? Do you keep it but exclude specific details? SO many way to handle this.
Many people say. "I blog is just like a diary its how I express myself.It's therapeutic."
OK, that's 1/2 true. This blog thing is not a diary by original design if you keep it open to the public. Repeat...Public access nullifies the "this is my diary" logic. For example if you say "I have a diary that I keep with me all the time and I write my deepest feelings in it." Yes people know you have it and technically where it is but they don't have access. Now If you say "Yeah I blog at www.blahblah.blogspot" then they can see it without your further approval.I say this under the definition that a diary is a personal usually secretive personal log.
So on the flip side of thing, can a significant other make request/demands on what is put in a blog in relation to him/her and the relationship in question?
I'll keep it funky.In regards to relationships, if you put it out in the public I will find it(invited or not) and I'll read it.If it's available to strangers then I feel no issues in reading it. I've done it before and I'd do it again.I think you can't have it both ways. You can't be publicly private, at least not on many things.
Has a blog ever come back to haunt you? Have you ever had to choose between your online expression and your offline interactions?
Monday, September 28, 2009
You date me, You date my Blog too????
Posted by NightFall914 at 12:05 PM
Labels: bad communication, blogging, mass communications, Media Skill, Relationships
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9 comments:
hmmmm... i think you can be publicly private. No one but 2 people I know IRL know about my blog. I keep things pretty open and i use my blog as a way to say how I feel. The added bonus is that strangers can read how I feel and comment and give advice.
the people that I date know that I have a blog but dont know the address. I am very careful of not posting names and using a email address that I strictly use for blogger.
If I was involved with someone and he went looking for my blog, I'd be a little upset.
Wow those are really good questions...
It amazes me to what this world has come to. "Honey is it ok if I blog about this...."
I personally don't think you should ask anyone's permission about what you put on your site but I do feel you should consider that EVERYONE and anyone has access to this corner of your writing. Additionally I think the details what goes on in a relationship should be left out of the blog. A relationship is between you and that person but when you chose to blog about it it becomes a relationship with the world. It's a good thing to keep a relationship out of public eye.
Good luck with finding your answers!
@ Khaki
Yeah I hear you. I don't hide my online activity either but it's on you if want to see it or not. My relationships have always been off the internet radar in terms of detail. I don't think I'd let a partner tell me if I can blog or not BUT depending on the feelings involved their views do matter to me.
@Chymere
I agree. Expression is great but I think "relationships" should to some degree be kept discreet online. But it's really a situational thing I guess.
I told the guy I was with that I have a blog but didn't give him the link. He found me anyways. *whatever* After that I changed my address. Now I am not in a relationship so I have no one to worry about me blogging or not. My family knows but that's about it. I never blogged details of my "relationships", somehow I have a hard time doing that. I am more of a private person although that defeats the purpose of blogging but who says you can only blog about relationships. I believe there are many topics to blog about. :-)
My ex-boyfriend didn't care. He never read or tried to find my blog. He wasn't interested in anything longer than a paragraph, hence his being my ex. Lol. I think it's fair to mention that you blog. If they ask to read it, let them. If they express unhappiness about it, depends on how much you want to save that relationship, delete the source of the anger. If you just aren't that into him/her, keep on blogging!
I had this woman break into a man's email and found my name and picture and obviously didn't like what she saw. She wasn't his woman. I don't think she knew that, anyway she googled me and got pissed off at my blog. Thought I was talking about her when in reality it was my ex-boyfriend and his cheating ass I was referring to. Boy did I get annoyed and harassed for my blog. Now I try to do things as incognito as possible. *Sigh* I almost stopped blogging and change the address, but I thought **** that mess. She's calmed down, but I think she might still be lurking somewhere. I hope she doesn't read this!
@NightFall914
My gf knows I have a blog but she doesn't know the name of it. That's really important because sometimes I really need to talk about our relationship on my blog. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing so if she read my blog.
The only problem that my gf has is that sometimes I spend too much time blogging. Lol
Great post!
oh gawd..luv this topic...My blog is so public and now I'm public everyone reads my ish just to find out about my life..in some ways i regret making it so public BUT it forces me to be even more creative with my writing. It also helps me realize that blogging about things that i feel at the time is me just "expressing myself" could be expressed by simply telling/confronting the person about the issue instead of hiding behind a user name & post.
I've had ppl call me the blog bully in the lunch room try and start conversations with me based on a blog post, and I mean it doesnt go too far, because everything i have to say on that topic has been poured out in those 500+ word posts i write.
as for relationships...he is all up on my blog and is usually the inspiration behind a lot of the posts, he adores my writing and thats got to be one of the best feelings in the world to date...By nature Im a private person so I would probably not put too many details re: relationship & my life in a post but love the challenge of making an interesting read that keep peeps coming back.
Luv this post..i think i said that already!
Every detail (from gyno appointments to that one time my bathroom flooded the neighbors apartment after I did a salt water detox and the plumber came in the middle of me riding my fuck buddy so I finished him off & angrily answered the door damn near naked) is broadcasted somewhere on the internet. That's just something that my partner has to accept before we even start dealing with one another. Most guys don't really care. In fact, I've never even dated a guy who was interested in anything I blog or tweet about. It's weird to me. If I was dating a guy who made his private life public in blogs, I'd want to read everything. I would want to know every detail from before our relationship, during and after. I'm nosy. I had to twist my ex's arm to get him to read my blog. It's annoying because that's the one person who should be waiting for me to update...then again, men don't exactly date me for my blogging abilities o_O
@Daddy Nightfall....... Ummmm, I plead the 5th.
Yet, this is a VERY excellent topic!.
Forever Fabulous,
The Single Dame
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