Ok, ok the colorful title is a bit for effect cuz everyone involved is pretty cool for the most part. While coming home late last night I got a short BBM from one of my guys to hit him up today. He wanted my feedback on something. Long story short he's a good guy, no kids, no criminal record, educated, etc....but he's developed a thing for a girl he knows. She's attractive but seems pretty cool with her ghetto celeb type life. She's not a bad person from what I've seen.....she can be a bit loud and over the top from the one interaction I've had with her but it is what it is. Anyway, my boy tells me he finally stepped to her on some "I know we're cool...." type stuff and from he's words she didn't wanna take things to the next level. She didn't really reject as much as she hit him with the relax 'Friend Zone" response. This clearly didn't sit well with him so I asked me what do I think.
"Man, I'ma be real with you. In spite of everything you feel you're bringing to the table and its a lot, it doesn't matter if she doesn't have that attraction, that spark for you. The truth is you bring more to the equation than she does. Ideally you'd show her things she hasn't seen, open her view point up to things bigger then what she deals with presently. Unfortunately I've learned that no matter how much sense it makes in your head that she should want to rock with you, the reality is that she will more then likely stay within her element and deal with folk that dont compare to you at all. They'll be some bare surface superficial thing that has her feeling this guy or guys and it will make no sense to you. Be clear. As long as you have a crush on this female, yes I said crush, you're gonna be in funny state trying to figure out why others get the shot you want. It's classic and it happens to us all. I suggest you fill your space with another or other women...."
Curious if he'll listen. I expect he'll try to talk to this girl a few times before getting the hint.
2 comments:
Great advice. It's a bit dishonest to remain in the friend zone while wishing it were more anyway. I'd agree that he should just find someone that is looking for the same things he is.
I've been here and I've put someone in this position as well. Hopefully he takes your advice. The situation isn't at all pleasant to be in. Keep it moving...Fill the void, and if the friendship eventually leads to something else...let it happen, on its own time.
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