"If you are in a very serious relationship what do you do if your girlfriend has an issue with your best female friend. What if as a part of continuing the relationship she requests that you no longer associate with your friend.What do you do?"
I can most definitely relate to this topic. It may be degrees of insecurity or simply claiming "her territory" but I think as people we all have at times felt a certain way about people how have different or potentially closer relationships to people we are close to then we do. A relationship touches on many levels, mental, physical, social, etc,etc...BUT one thing that can never be made up is time. Now let me explain.
I have female friends that I am very close with. Close in a way that I've been their for the triumphs and the tears. I hear the questions that others never will. Many of these friendship are based over a pretty respectable period of time. Throw a girl friend into the mix and this is what I get...a person who ideally wants to be my sun, moon and stars and want s no other person in the solar system with her. But that's nearly impossible with me.
A serious relationship will warrant changes in how I interact with my female friends and that is fine. For example, any of my lady friends that have partners I do not contact by phone or text after 10pm. It's just a respect thing and I don't want to interrupt anything. Similarly a partner of mine would have to understand that our growing interaction does not now neutralize 8,9,10 years of friendship and earned trust that my friend has. And truthfully any friend of mine would have no problem adjusting me and my relationship.
I know many a female that evaporates into thee air once a man comes into the picture. While I understand the need to get to know a new person, I have always maintained that my friends have earned too much of my respect to be cast aside when a new face enters the picture. That's just me. The maturity level of the people I interact with should allow for such an issue to be handled pretty easily.
Hypothetically, if such an ultimatum was made to me I may very well end the relationship or at least put a serious pause on things. The Issue would have to be dealt with and examined from a number of areas. Why is this an issue? Why is your suggest solution the most extreme of options?
I don't react well to people forcing control over me in that manner......
3 comments:
I'd never give up my friends over a relationship. I would be appalled if a guy ever asked me to. My friends (just like my bad habits) come with the territory. Take it or leave it. I also wouldn't distance myself from anyone because I'm in a relationship...because if that relationship ever ends, who will I have?
"I have always maintained that my friends have earned too much of my respect to be cast aside when a new face enters the picture."
That's it right there! I think when someone demands that you cease all communication with your friends of the opposite sex, it's time to sit them down and let them know it can't work like that. It's irrational and definitely comes off as needing to control. I co-sign with all you've said.
I've heard the same thoughts or thoughts along the lines you've shared here, so I know I'm not crazy for thinking this way. Great response, love.
Im so serious about this right here. The assumption the a relationship automatically rises up above time tested friends is insane to me.
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