When I can't be me and have to feel bad/guilty for my positive intentions due to other folks insecurities it puts me in a funny space between Sad & Angry......
Social media interactions are hard to measure and quantify. What does a "Like" mean? Are they measured by sheer quantity? Do they have more meaning then comments? I see so many "rules" about how folk interrupt these signs of online approval. I regularly disassociate myself from them cuz they make no sense to me. At 30+ yrs old I be damned at the fact that folk read as much into these things as they do. I'm already the odd ball that is unapologetic with my public support of people be they male or female. But as a guy it must be assumed I'm up to something.....
I honestly wanted to punch a hole through my door over that shit. All I could say to my self is "Really?" And step out to get a meal. You see I'm horrible at faking my feelings in that way. If I dont like something I hit the switch and turn off. I cant look you in the face and smile if I'm not happy. If my desire is to support which I do on like a level 9, its hard for me to turn it down to a 6 if thats not my genuine feeling. It's easier to just turn off. Especially if it over some b.s. It may be nothing to you but in the grand scheme of what I've dealt with in this area it sickens me.
I don't get it.......and part of me has no desire to try and get it.
Fuck it.....
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