I've seen this in a few situations over the years with a few folks and it's always been a curious thing for me. Now I know this is a matter of how each person deals with things but feel me for a moment. If I were struggling, bills barely paid, living situation unstable, no matter how much I may want it I would not want to deal or socialize to seriously with a person of the opposite sex. This is simply because I always want to present the best of myself and if I'm not handling my basic life responsibilities then certain other activities are not on my agenda. On the flip side I've seen many a person get into serious "relationships" at times when they really don't have much to bring to the table.
So I wonder and ask y'all. Looking at things from both sides of the spectrum. If you were really in a bad space would you want to or seek social interactions? If you were more stable would you entertain a person with very little to offer in the grand scheme of things.
3 comments:
I think it depends on how well you know the person and how understanding they are of the situation. If it's someone you've been talking to and sharing your struggles and wins with, then they should understand.
I do understand the "...I always want to present the best of myself..." feeling though. I think most ambitious people feel the same way when things aren't exactly where they want to be.
Honestly what you're saying makes complete sense, but from a more emotional stand...if I'm struggling it's taking a toll on my emotions and interacting with someone on a regular basis might be the pick me up that keeps me going. When I lost my job and hit rock bottom, it was meeting somebody that helped me pick myself up and keep climbing out of the hole. It's possible that men and women think differently though. A woman might not be as willing to hang with a man who is doing bad.
I think we've been conditioned (well women more so than men) to subscribe to the played out adage "love will conquer all"...
I respect a man who can say I can not take this to the next level because my home/financial situation is not proper and I want to be able to give you more..TRUE STORY.
I hated hearing it at the time, but its the most honest thing I've been told and I have the utmost repsect for this person.
I know that I myself am still in hustle struggle in my 20's mode and at this point in my life, as much as I would like companionship, I know deep inside its not the right time.*sigh*Such is life...for now.
On the flip side in converations with my coupled friends, i get to hear the unglam side of "love conquers all"...having to take up pizza delivery jobs just to pay a mortgage and feed lil mouths.
It's an individual choice...I prefer to be chillin with my family (being home after school, at every baseball proactice etc) because I stayed grinding prior to their arrival.
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