"Jason, you and your guys are at the age where you have to be careful what females you deal with because your in the age range for living together, families and marriage"
- Evita Robinson
That paraphrase was from an earlier convo with the my Super Amazon Euro Pimpin Tokyo Teaching buddy Evita. It made we think and wonder on something. What is your time frame? Do you have a steady mark where you stop and evaluate a relationship to see if its worth continuing or do you just ride out? How much time would you allot to getting to a serious "life partner" consideration with someone. Whats more important the time you risk in getting to know some or the loss of a relationships potential because its not moving fast enough?
I've always felt that most peoples emotions evolve at different rates. Plus in regards to time my belief is that if I'm looking at you with life partner potential that you need to be able to be down for the ride. Not 5,6,7 yrs, but 2,3,4 yrs of steady progress and relationship growth is not a grand thing to ask if I may spend the rest of my life with you.
I'm realizing that i'm in a period where many females may feel that their racing the clocC to get families started. All I know is that relationships should be a natural process from both people involved. And you dont want to lose a good thing cuz it doesn't match your biological clocC, cuz then what? You gonna rush off and squeeze out a child with the next guy that says the right things?
THoughts? VIews? Opinions?
Friday, January 16, 2009
Time Frame/BIological ClocC
Posted by NightFall914 at 12:13 AM
Labels: blogging, Living, open minds, Relationships, THOUGHTS
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7 comments:
OOOOHHHHH KAY
... Let me first say... My familial clock is definately ticking. My timeline is as follows... I'd like to be married w/n 2 yrs and Have @ least one more child before I'm 30 (I'm 26 now)... I have really only been in ONE relationship that was marriage bound.... the last one... and I loved it.
I KNEW that this person and I were supposed to be together for the rest of our lives from the first second we met... I knew that I'd be the mother to his children (one way or another) and we'd be old together. KNEW IT!
... I was wrong...
That's the snafu-- you THINK you're walking down that road w/ someone... and then... all of a sudden... you're not...So, do you WASTE your time investing and investing and investing in someone who you're not sure with? NO!!
Absolutely not. You have to KNOW what you want and the type of person you're trying to settle down with...
I think EVERYONE has a timeframe... even if they don't admit it. Most men I know won't THINK about settling til 30. Alot of women would like to be settle before that age (Self included) and children can come before or after that.
Relationship progression is different for different people... and there's not time line that "works"--- I know folks who were together for 3 months and got married and are still together... I know people who were dating/engaged for YEARRRRRS (like 10)-- finally got married...and divorced later.
I will date you for 2 years. Period. If you don't know if you want to marry me in 2 years...then you DON'T want to marry me...and we need to stop wasting each others time, and move forward.
I was to have been married by now... to that person. But it didn't work...and it's been almost 2 years since we began dating... see?! :) 2years gives you enough time to see the GREATNESS and the SHITTINESS of that person.. and decide if you can take it...
@ Jae: I think u(or anyone) using a stiff time restricting on dating is a gamble. Would u not date someone 3 yrs if it would result in a lifetime of happiness? I find hard to think you come completely know all, both good and bad in 2 yrs.
And no more Jenny jones references on this Blog. U, him and the idea of marriage is revolting.
Ummm-- if I'm speaking w/ regard to the subject and using my life experience as an example, why does it matter who I reference? BUT It's your blog... so I'll respect your rules...
... and you don't know ALL the good and bad of someone in 50 years... they can spring something new on you... so...it's not about a complete knowledge..it's about knowing ENOUGH....
... you know if you're going to marry someone WELL BEFORE 2 years...
... Are you going to marry me?... No. Did it take two years to know that? No.
See what I'm saying??? if you wait til you know EVERYTHING about someone...then you'll lead a very lonely life (not saying you JASON... but you ANYONE)...
You know the dynamic your kinship with a person is going to take on w/n the first 10 minutes of interaction. Friendship, relationship, f/b, possible hubby, wife, etc...
At some point though, I think you say... ya know, no matter WHAT this person does... I can't imagine living the rest of my life w/o them... I dont' know everything... but to me, they're worth the gamble...
feel me?
"You know the dynamic your kinship with a person is going to take on w/n the first 10 minutes of interaction. Friendship, relationship, f/b, possible hubby, wife, etc..."
If someone would attempt to judge/classify me that quicCly then I'll deal with Lonely nites then.lol
Still luv ya though :P
first...very well put Jae :)..
J...we've had this conversation before...and you have an idea how I feel about the Blu-logic when it comes to matters of the heart..
It's a double-edged sword..but as Jae put it, you KNOW...and if you're still unsure about the future of the relationship after 2yrs, then let me find someone who can be and likewise...I don't believe there is a SET timetable, but your clocks do have to AT LEAST be in the same time zone...
I find the dicotomy interesting, because as a man you don't want a timetable, no rush, just work with me...but as a friend, you would tell a female friend, if he ain't doing what he should be doing after a certain period of time (committing) he doesn't deserve you move on...
@ Jillz
Somewhat true but I'll be honest.If the WORST thing you could tell me about a guy was that he's moving too slow, but he treats you right and makes you feel good. Thats 1 small aspect of the overall picture to me. BUT, I've come to understand the logic opposite mine.
"I find the dicotomy interesting, because as a man you don't want a timetable, no rush, just work with me...but as a friend, you would tell a female friend, if he ain't doing what he should be doing after a certain period of time (committing) he doesn't deserve you move on..." --Jillz
WOW!! That's an excellent point! I didn't even realize that. lol Hmmm... Jayceeeee-- you got some 'splaining to do... lol (in the ricky ricardo voice)
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