Rambling....

Back at home.......Allowing thoughts to drift and questions to fester. After a refreshing guys night out. I return with a mind that is open to what I have to change within myself to bring about improvement. I look at my interactions with people and I wonder why I do think the way I do? What must be altered to get better results. Who should be cut off, who should I communicate less with or who requires a change in handling. It always makes me pause how the pursuit is only for happiness to be felt yet so many times it results in me with my head down, falling just short of my goal. I'm all encompassing in terms of my thought process, memories and actions. It's a natural reaction for me to think of how my actions have effects that go beyond me and may effect those that matter most to me. Yet on many occasions I don't see that in others. Most actions I witness seem to occur with no further interest other then the immediate reaction to them. This is usually the case because when I introduce the pretty simply connection between their moves and my reactions I got "oh" and "I never thought of that"....this makes me wonder, is ignorance bliss?

Would I be more content if I scaled back my range of my thoughts? Should I be more self centered? Man that would be so hard to do. To flip that which has been instilled in me for the majority of my life at this point and time would be difficult. It is truly a major part of what I define myself by. It is very much what makes me me. Balance, that's what I'm looking for. I've had many personal experiences this year that while I haven't had the crazy heart breaks of years past, life has continued to test my and emotional commitments. Am I ready to settle down, I'd like that to end up as my goal but that isn't where I am just yet. A man not fully accepting of him self and his position will not be the partner and provider he should and could be.

My wants are simple.....Happiness and Love. My demand is basic.....Respect.My needs are everlasting.......God and Family. I'll keep working and embracing all that is me.The good, the bad and ugly. And I'll try to focus a lil more on me and see what that gets me.....