What Are You Paying Attention To???

Always interesting what folk do and don't pay attention to. If there's one thing I'm consistent with it's my communication. Same phone # for years, same sites, same blog,etc,etc.....If what I do matters then you dont need me to tell you everything because you can see it for yourself. I've been pushing The Omega Nexus for years now and the past 2 years has seen the growth of the Nomadness Travel Tribe. Now I get that everyone isn't the same but I make it my business to check on what people that are important or interesting to me are doing. Awards, conventions, hell I just came off a damn national tour! If you arent aware of anything I'm doing then you simply don't care. I dont want to hear "I didnt know." At this point I dont buy
it.....

Rambling After the Month of Me

I'm always appreciative of the love I get for my Birth day/month but this year was one of the best. Very thank you for that.......those that forgot were few and far between so all is good.....How much more efficient would I be if I really stopped caring about those that don't really care about me?.......but in that case would I still be me?.......The online declarations are very nice now once they match the person I know in actual life we'll be making progress......I think because folk that reveal things to me know I hold secrets tightly even when they flip on me I wont air out their dirty laundry......I takes too much energy to really engage folk for the sake of "payback".....the flip side of that is that when I do pursue it it very very VERY ugly....So basically your girl was given it from him while getting it from you!?! Really?......Really?..........Really? Daaammmnnnnn homie.....balance the fond memories of the past with appreciation of the present......."How come we never hooked up"....ummmm cuz you weren't interested back then......now I look better you've gotten less attractive and I'm not interested.....hey it happens like that sometimes....Anyway, my late night eating habits are insane....Im not just taking snacks but have a full legit meal at 1am has happened quite often.....I need to beat my abs into submission......The inability to answer messaging in a timely fashion will continue to urk me.....until eternity.lol.......I find it amusing when I get under a persons skin for calling out there b.s.....not in the general sense but seeing folk hunger for attention and hitting them with the "I see what you're doing" type comment....then we wanna ignore me.......lol I see the gimmicks, the wack lyrics....lol the shits depressing, pathetic, please forget it.......ooh you got a "stalker" huh? Gotta change ya number you say? How about you take the damn location tracker off ya Tweets and stop "checking in" via facebook and 4square as well, Just a suggestion.....So we can worry about the going on of random ass sports player baby mamas and jumpoffs but no one "cares" about Diggy sticking up for his sister? Ooooooh ok just checking......Duration of friendship is not a get out of jail free card for any type of reckless conduct......I can still love ya yet fall back from you.....if its the best thing for me.....speaking of the best for me.....I think this yr is about to open a couple new chapters for me.....Hmmm just watched the end of Fast & Furious 2 Tokyo Drift....Is Tokyo really that animated? I mean it looks like living in a damn real life Anime. I'm curious to see that in person......Land of the Rising Sun meet Nightfall...that'd be fun.........be careful of long cleavage....gravity is playing a cruel trick on y'all. lol Random as hell but true regardless. lol I remember having to be creative to view porn these kids got it too easy now.........you ever have someone make you feel bad for being down for them or interested in what their about. It's like shit respect my appreciation of your hard work that shit ain't to be taken for granted......it's part of my nature to adapt to things around me to cause the least amount of friction. A another method I need to get more familiar with is just doing WHATEVER I want and then letting others adjust to me. If folk are that interested in being down then they'll make changes to their M.O like I do......Had a chat with a friend and we agreed that with encountering folk online in many cases the "Idea" of a person may e much greater then what they really are.......You're very much see the character/Alter Ego of a person vs the actual them. The degree of difference between the two varies but the online "superstar" is really just a regular person that takes good pix for is fairly good with words......just gotta live with it sometimes.....things we had but didn't want at the time....times we wanted that could never do ours......things we wanted that in hindsight you're glad you didn't get......Make em feel you.........it always appeals........Friday? Very uncomfy but for the Tribe, for the Boss.....I'll deal with it......You want to know whats awkward to me people with talent that dont how to properly apply it. What I mean is I see this guy w/ tons of graphic and artistic talent but uses it just to get pix of "models" sure why get $$$ when you can get jerk off material right?......lame.......but hey I worked under a guy when I promoted clubs that was the same way, but he was money hungry too bad combo......and kinda of pedophile-like.....yeah not good.....but that was another time, long removed from that world........

Rambling in Recovery....

You ever wonder if the time and energies you put into some people are worth it?.....Many folk I see making it many more keep on faking it......the digital numbers amassed via your curves do not automatically mean you have a following.......too many "trying to be comedians" for my taste........MTV2's Guy Code is soooo overdue.....Alesha Renee is still fine!....As far as networks, making moves and evolving Evita's "the most important person in the room"....For many, lace should NOT be worn beyond the bedroom. Only a few know how to rock that for the public eye....guilty pleasures abound...people, places, things....It's funny to remember how females used to scare me socially....my business mindset right now is very focused and in turn has me very snippy in my meetings...technology irks a lot of people when it comes to communication. Women like voices, I.e calls... Men like direct talk and comfort I.e texting....you have to be to understand and accept that. Only a few folk in your life should have the ability to demand which u do....NBA's back, sports media is still predictable, fans vs fanatic ratio still tilted in the wrong direction......your not single, more like testing samples while not really wanting to make a final decision......a situation is bad only if you are unaware of your position in it or make no move to improve it.....communication via BBM status messages.....many times odd to me....and WTF everyones leaves BB.....well it has been a BAD year for the Blackberry nation...Really trying to cut through the talkers and find more doers. Americans are natural talkers...Big City Americans are bigger talkers....and honestly we New Yorkers can write humongous checks that have no shot at being cashed.......there is an ulterior motive to soooo many of the pix I see posted on these Internets......nothing is "entitled" to anyone.....regardless of location or level of intoxication you can flawlessly pull off the exposed titty meat/cleavage and higher cell phone pic and simultaneously post it to all your sites but you can rarely reply to comments on said pix.....yeah you'll be looking attention whorish....but no one listens to me. lol.....You ever see stats or tweets that you kno were typed SPECIFICALLY to name drop someone "important", like you at have to says all that just to let folk know you know this person......Does "act your age" even hold weight as a saying anymore? Everyone is subtracting like 10yrs from their age anyway. 30's the new 20 right? O_O.....I wish a chick would attempt to tell me what kind of drink I should be having....I care less what color it is and if I've paid for your drink shut it up on that one......its a test in patience when that blackberry loading hourglass starts spinning...not sure if it'll be boxing or kick boxing but I'll be getting into 1 of them in 2012....I wanna break any pc I'm on when I see my home gurl recycling old ass pix like their new.......Kung Fu Panda can do no wrong...outside of my immediate fam it'll be a lot of cards this Xmas. Horrible timing when this last assignment ended.....I forgive but never forget. That's how I make not to repeat mistakes....Life really does balance itself out....Crazy what can happen in a week....for all the weight I press and all the hours I'm in the gym, damn that eye shot brought things down to earth REAL fast...But now I'm mad and will get that much better when I return to the gym tomorrow....This Kris Humphrey guy is like a Eddie Munster with the IQ and personality of an 11 yr old...and quite frankly an 11 yr old has more personality...Folk strive more for Attention then for Accomplishment....2012 I'll finally welcome ya'll to my world....

Rambling on the Clock

Yes, I'm the one they call when the sky bout to fall...Again I have to watch love and it’s after effects make fools of my people. Good men hurt for only asking their partners to be their equals…….time invested in a relationship is NOT an automatic right to demand a change of the status quo…In college I thought I was just a bad situation, a decade later it’s confirm that many don’t know how to select a good guy. You can sit and describe one very easily. List all the thing he “should” be and do but then when Ray Ray some one worked his way into Mr Beat-It-Up status what can you say?.....Ummm what is the purpose of our government and congress again? I’m not even being funny in express confusing about what they really do for us?.....DAMN homie! In High School you were the man Homie! What happened to you? I really started to sit down and analyze how and why I help folk. Many people think I want something so that’s why I do it, but truth be told a)Its just a part of my nature cuz many times I’ll be like “I aint need to help her ass” b) When someone presents a problem or just throws it out into the air my mind takes it and solves it so fast that to me its nothing to say hey if your really want that handled do x.y.z or here’s a link to something that may help you or whatever. Helping isn’t so grand an action to me. More so it’s what we need to make much more common…..Lotta things just sound good to the hear, look good to the eye but their reality is so far from that….I’m still a sucker for some. Not in a bad way but still it is what it is. Wet & Sloppy vs Slow, Smooth and Controlled? Truth they both work…..The ability to stretch a dollar is a critical life skill….Lol, I think one of my friends indirectly referenced me in a #OOMF tweet. 1) If she did it was cute and next tell let me in on the compliment 2) I still have issues referring to folk as followers….Communication freak I am….I cant change it…It would appear to me that you can put the word “flow” after anything to make it sound more exciting. Vacation Flow, Casino Flow, Sweaty sex Flow? I guess those work……Work Flow? Public Transportation Flow? Cramp Flow? And yes I’ve seen all 3 of these posted…...Hoodrats......Hoodrats, can be useful at times……Ya know as good as Harry Potter was/is I just couldn’t get with those tiny little twigs they called wands. I prefer the oversized magical staffs my self….Clearly the water of the United Kingdom flow directly from Gods person bath tub. Nothing else examples the measurements I’ve seen…..This NBA season, assuming they get their labor issues together, I’m taking my Knicks support on the road. Philly, Boston, DC, Miami(hopefully), Chicago…….I’m watching people step out for lunch into the heat and coming back looking a mess……As judgmental as some may think I am I honestly keep quiet and the most major things. Not issues and social problems but if I see someone close to me doing something really stupid, repeating an action they KNOW better then to be doing I’ll just watch. I’ll hope they stop and get things in proper condition but most likely I won’t speak on it…..does everything need to be shared? No it doesn’t shut up about some things like seriously, privacy please just a hint of it maybe? With the ability to communicate must come the ability to take what you give. When you couldn’t realistically reach your favorite t.v personality, music or sports star it was ok the curse a guy for a bad or insult an artist you didn’t help. Chances were they’d never hear what you said anyway. Now that you can @ a celeb to directly tell them to sucC a di*k you have to be prepared to get a lil something back….How many of your childhood cartoon theme songs do you still know and can still sing? Me….I still know G.I Joes, Transformers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Animanics, Tiny Toons, Chip n’ Dale Rescue Rangers, Duck Tales, Thunder Cats just to name a few and if there was no actual theme to sing I can still hum the hell out of these songs, screw what these kids are watching today lol, Heard that Henny can actually adversely effect sexual performance…..damn. I’m going to get my current Ink touched issue and with more/greater detail to them. I 100% grew my 1st 2 Tats so as simple as they are they mean that much more to me…..Can only get by on words but for so long. Eventually I realize that’s all I’ll get and I come to enjoy that for the simple lip service it is.....everyone talking about "thirst" until the advances come from a person you like. Appreciate the attention cuz I aint forever.....

Rambling......About US

You ever just sit alone in the dark and let your mind zone,

And take a hard look at the world and all that you find wrong,

I escape my physical to think its almost a ritual kinda thing,

This world that we inhabit habitually makes me sick,

Loving my people to no end, family, close friends,

Even those that don’t know sending positive vibes by the boatloads,

But for some there’s no hope though with burdens that won’t go,

And they project that to the masses through bitterness and sarcasm,

Till I wish they would flee lose all that damn internet access,

See for me I need limits on your freedom of speech,

All the whining bout heaux shit's misdirected to me,

See for every complaint there is an ounce of admission,

A confession of your life and the elements missing,

Security lacking yes the support that you don’t have,

Insult the next girl because of issues with your man,

Elementary Watson really just a simple equation,

To extract the truth from what these women be saying,

Quote a lil Beyonce for independence and sass, 

Make sure we stay updated every time you get some ass,

Cat fight with other woman, be childish be mean,

Then demand of us men to address you as Queen,

Had to laff at that exhale, lean back

A lot of y’all are quite a sight and a sorry one at that…..

As I sit remaining focused I will not exclude my brothers,

Witness to y’all antics it really is no wonder,

Not a mystery at all why our female are turning Dyke,

Not the sisters alone but brown, yellow and white,

I lost my V-Hood to an Asian, who later said she was BI,

It was easier to her then trying to deal with most guys,

Lesson early learned the when a woman has been wronged,

The road back to normalcy can be twisted and long,

 Good girls disenchanted, no courting no romancing,

A victim of ill odds and society’s social “advancements”

It has lames feeling privileged thinking their so deserving,

Of honor and accolades what the hell is y’all sniffing,

For every true lady that she says “no” 10 “blah” chicks go down willingly,

So I guess that has you feeling that’s the way that it’ll always be,

Many get high off the fame once they’ve made it in the game,

Really got no Juice beside the initials in the name,

Forgot who rode with you and so supportive never neglectful,

Was on the brink of getting cut fix ya face get disrespectful?

Really couldn’t believe the statement I was reading,

Could imagine my home girls tears rolling and heavy breathing,

 Juvenile and unacceptable the thoughts on my side turn malicious,

“Jay he spoke to me so filthy like I was just one of his bitches,

I can’t take my people hurting, low & despondent,

To deliver equal suffering is all I now wanted,

So pissed off I wanna go eye for an eye

She’s still hurt still numb being objectified,

But it’s a man’s way and it’s a man’s world,

Man defined by conquests and stacking women up,

Messing with their hearts maybe even shacking up,

Avoid the pitfalls Mags never running out,

Morning after pills or maybe finish in her mouth,

We do what we want never with a 2^nd thought,

Replace her fast with a female with a much meaner walk,

Their interchangeable accessories re-arrangable,

Most without a clue of the great pain we have done to you,

Men see simple logic play hard to build numbers,

Y’all shed tears face fears become mothers,

A canyon in between us so few properly bridge,

So in truth I’m not surprised at the sloppy way we live,

I’m not exempt as I fight to keep the urges down,

Pour out another drink swirl the rum ‘round,

I keep in isolation for fear of what I might do,

Avoid places cuz I know who I’ll bump into,

A lil head would help it’s only one night,

An old flame twitters me and says I’m looking right,

Compliments appreciated but I know whats the end goal,

An old time romp capped off in her end hole,

Yes so filthy that’s why I keep it calm and easy,

I’m the largest person in the room but no body sees me,

That’s how I like it move smooth and silent,

It’s not doing down until the time I decide it,

See thats my big fear to end up another hypocrite,

Unwed, bastard seed just another nigga statistic,

So beauty comes at me I find myself running from her,

It’s safer to just peep the porn on tumblr,

I wanna make a movie but scared to cast it,

Would run thru a couple Gigs if I’d only ask it,

But I mask it Never let the masses in,

Letting too many behind the glass is how it all begins,

How I fall to Sin, Give in to temptations,

Knowing the holy teachings that I’m repeatedly breaking,

Life’s a constant lesson I hope to pass the final test,

But at least I know I gave my all went all out to do my best………

Rambling on Hump Day

Sometimes I just have to sit and think. I wonder why I do the things I do. I many times wonder just how my actions are perceived. Few people get me and how I move. Others question why I don’t take more advantage of certain positions I’m in. There are those that I honestly feel just tolerate me in a cordial manner but could really care less if I’m around or not. Not mad at that, its reality. It’s weird how I find myself double guessing, doubting, and at times going against my natural instincts. It’s said that it’s easier to be cold, mean and uncaring but I think I’ve grown past that stage. I see negativity as being so much harder to deal with and so oppressive to your environment. I just don’t see why I’d elect to dwell in that. So, I’m Mr Nice guy but that’s nothing new, my actions are done 1^st from the heart because I try to treat folk how I’d like to be treated. Yes, how I’d like to be treated which alludes to the fact that I’m not really treated like that. So while I don’t seek a specific reaction from the things I do. I ALWAYS am aware of what the response is. Again not due to expectation but as to better monitor who I give and direct energy too. Are you someone that says “Good Morning” to people? Do you randomly check on your peoples to make sure their ok? Yeah? That’s nice……you ever stop and see how many do the same towards you? Is the number relatively even? No? It drops off a bit? Yeah I hate when that happens too. 

Anyway, is it just assumed that communication with the opposite HAS to have a sexual side meaning? Perhaps I need to befriend some flat chested mid western white women so my every move doesn’t have a suspicious eye on it. But the eyes have been watching for years, no reason to think they’ll stop now. I honestly feel that I keep a pretty diverse group of friends. I surround myself and populate my inner circle with powerful respective people, many who are females. They know what it is so that’s all that matters. If I’m seen chatting with anyone who’s pretty, curves are too on point, chest too large, hair too curly or I’m being "too nice" it’s gotta be something....right?. Sometimes I have to remind myself that many people overlook or are oblivious to my background and just how accustomed I am to female's physically. Counting and collecting money in a stripper locker room or office will do that to you……among other things.  I can truthfully say I’m a social guy and have no issue speaking with and being around attractive folk. I control my actions at the end of the day. 

I was an ugly duckling (as were most people) so I can appreciate both sides of things. I’m cool with models and mothers, singers and strippers, artists and asshole, that’s life. In the end it’s all funny to me. I don’t ever fight or argue over it. I’ll let you think I’m trying to do something while I’m in my home alone reading comic books. The general population should be thankful that my "less female sensitive side" was short lived yrs ago. Someone of my intelligence could cause a lot of damage without restraints in place. Lord believe me that it’s not always easy to NOT do something but that’s the battle you wage daily. It’s what enables me to be “real”. Not in the “I’m keeping it real” sense but in the “I don’t want to be a hypocrite” sense. 

I begin working with my church's Sunday School this Sunday. Easter Sunday, the biblical importance is evident but for me it’s a giving back. While talking this over with people I said that I wasn’t getting my self up and extra 3-4 hrs earlier on Sunday just to recite old bible stories to these kids. I need to connect real life, our reality to a faith based on a time extreme and foreign to us. These young adults I’ll be dealing with, Middle School/High School students I believe are in the cross hairs of a lot of things. You have young boys thinking their men…..young girls thinking their women and I throw myself into the mix to attempt to effect change. NO ONE knows the full extent to things I’ve been involved in. Various people know some, NOBODY knows all. And to make the needed points with these kids I may need to share some of the darker corners of me just so they can connect and see how it all relates. There is always a bigger picture. My moves are never singular or random. Pieces to the puzzle, chess moves, turns to solve the rubics cube. But, y’all just assume I’m a 6ft 5in 225lbs flirt. Ok I can live with that. Lol. People always understand after the fact , that is how it works with me. So you don’t need to get it right now….

Random Thoughts Towards The Future.

When looking for big picture life potential in a person what do you look for. Or perhaps I should ask what do you ideally want? Exit the Ideal and enter Reality. What do you see in the people around you? I’ve held this thought that I’ve already met my wife but I may not know it yet….or maybe I know it but haven’t realized it yet. Either way what do I see around me that a wife would need to have? I’m blessed to have earned the friendship of a few great women so I look at their traits and say to myself “Yeah I hope my wife has some of that.” Do women do that? Look at guy friends and analyze their husband-like potentials? I think we all very easily can say what you like in a person but as time goes on I think you too more clearly see what you don’t like and honestly realize what things you can’t or won’t compromise on that you require in your life.

I think personally, that I have such a high level of value on marriage and that type of commitment that it has me that much more patient in prepping for that stage of life. I truly intend on a one shot deal. No multiple wives for me so when it’s that time it must be right. It’s more then just Love to make it work. That’s one of the biggest life lessons that I’ve learned. There is a need for finance in romance, along with timing and desire. Interest brings you to the door, love keeps you their but there are so many other factors that make it possible to succeed. You can truly love someone that you can’t have a fully successful relationship with. How hard must that be to accept?

That’s truly why we say that there’s someone for everyone. We many times base it on the physical but that lesser attractive person may be the only one that makes you smile or the only to be able to check you when your on some b.s. There’s no script to it.

Rambling at 9pm......

I'm emotionally tired. Not in a beat down manner but the energies needed to make certain things happen are just not in me at the moment. They've been spent trying to make things happen and when they don't pan out it takes time to get those energies back. Funny thing is that while the energy is low, emotions rarely run out. So you want what you want, you miss who you miss regardless of what the circumstances are. My outward presentation to the world is stoic and calm. But there are a few that know me better then that. Even fewer that do their part to help make life a little more pleasant.

As I think about the future I wonder what I'd tell my child about dealing with their feelings and the opposite sex. Would I tell my son to be open and expressive? To man up and never show weakness? Would I tell my princess what the majority of boys really want. Yeah I'm getting ahead of myself by that's how my mind works. I'm built a particular way. It's all I know and it's all that's worked for me.

I've grown and continue to do so. I look back at previous years, good times, relationships and break ups, my reactions to them, achievements and disappointments.....so much has happened. God willing so much more to experience. Yet I'm tired.....I'm tired of repetitious actions or lack of action. Words with no works. How long is it supposed to pass. We'll see....

Rambling at 2am......

Oh how the Man upstairs has decided to shake things up a bit.I see whats going on here...I don't expect perfections but I can only take but so many awkward moments before I have to distance myself from things....I do silence better then most.Always have,Always will....Evie questioning just who I'm follow on Twitter due to my time line comments does go to support my feeling while many folk are good people and good friends, they are equally disturbed and need not have an unfiltered public channel into their twisted minds lol. You ever get online see something and think the following? "Why don't you get the hell off the computer, stop trying to be deep and psychological, Go somewhere and actually work on your own problems?" Yeah? Me too?......Um stereotypes are real. They may not be politically correct but they do carry a lot of support behind them. And of course the Internets again show this. Think about who you know that talks or types the most about various things (food?sex?fashion?fucCery?) and see if it lines up with the stereotype...just try it......Tired of hearing about what folk want cuz they clearly don't go after what they claim they desire....Ok THAT was a surprise I'll admit it, you got me but technically I got you too. lol I think instead of being angry I'm just more inclined to cut people off. It's more efficient.... This year I need to hit at least 3 different beaches. Ideally 1 in the southern states, PR or DR and a Caribbean island, hopefully Antigua. The future success of the Omega Nexus rides heavily on me. Good. These new p90x & Insanity programs are taking their sweet time coming out. Speaking on fitness, so many people tell me I should be a trainer but I think I may attempt getting with a trainer 1st just to see what they really do. With all the various connects I have I still need a tighter connection to hotel, air travel and a tattoo artist. It really shouldn't be that hard to make happen. The 90's are really considered "old skool"???? REALLY? smh....I had a convo today where I expressed my beliefs on cartoon ethnicity so it should be known that all cartoons most cartoon ducks are black with the exceptions being Scrooge McDuck and FlintHeart GlomGold. Goofy, his wife, son, daughter, etc are all black. Wily Coyote too is a black man. Nuff Said......."The condom popped" is no longer a valid excuse. The value of the black barber shop is something that you can't sum up in words. Tumblr...where its nothing big to expose ya ass & chesticles to the masses...I feel sorry for my kids. I'ma be all up and in their online activities. I know ALL the tricks. I'm so desensitized to T&A its not even funny :/ More often then not I keep it PC as not to start arguments or make folk feel bad but my limit on some things has clearly been reached. I've always loved the 914. Great place to live. Now socially speaking I've always had to travel for enjoyment. Bx, Manhattan, etc....BUT I need folk to stop acting like New Ro is equivalent to Canada. People take trains all over the City and between all boroughs but then give me the O_O face when its time to ride 1 train 25 mins to Westchester?? In the end I just use to group my peoples. Certain things tell me a lot about folk. Your willingness to give of yout time and your money is something I don't take for granted. You took time to swing by my way? You broke bread to support something of mine or to just make me feel better. That is appreciated like none other. But when you always have a reason or excuse as to way a simple action hasn't or doesn't happen, lets just be adults and say that it ain't gonna happen. I'd rather you save me time and hurt my feelings then attempt to spare my feelings and waste lots of time.

Rambling thru the Heat......

Rambling before I go.....Love is still a curious thing to me and I'm watching it with an rasied eyebrow.....I wonder when people lie to me why they don't do a better job of it.....Twitter is current entertainment of satan.....boobs can make everything better......Lord willing this time next year I'll b in the new crib maaaaaybe with a new car....decisions must be made....MIA I will got love for you even if your currently the home of basketball bitchassness.......speaking of bitchassness, Puffy has been dancing on our screens for like 15 yrs now and left a trail of shattered artists in his managerial wake.damn.....There may not be any interest but have you ever wanted to assert power over someone just to shut them up? Or to prove a point? I listen to everything but 90% of how I act/react towards a person is based on their actions. I can always count on Frankie for the illest off the wall comments...... If you talk clean but act dirty....well you can figure it out......I just saw it again. BOOBS make everything better.LMAO(horny ass old men)......Watched the open debates about the possible Mosque being built near ground zero...this anti Islam wave is scary like seriously its disturbing.....the internet is clearly the home of the subliminal insult or at least the attempt of the subliminal insult........online is where freaks and wannabe freaks can exist in peace.........The large amounts of TMI i'm exposed to result in some crazy ass thoughts in my head and I apologize for none of them.....My friend says "She not that pretty" I say "I know".....We both laugh.......Um In the case of Wendy Williams boobs DON'T make things better.......Evita was a pimp in her former....I haven't had Henny in quite a while.....the age of the stripper is in full swing.......I take it as an after thought but when has a day gone by that I havent listened to music?....Folk are too sensitive and it makes it very easy to push buttons. This is what many people do. I dont consider all communications to be as genuine as folk say they are but rather I see them as attempts to get reactions of some type...When I seperate from my emotions and connections to people I can honesty say much of the hardships we go through we bring onto ourselves....unfinished business indeed......I so hope these interviews pan out right......My home will be decorated to show my connection to my artistic friends and my overall inner nerd....I'm crazier then you....believe me.......but I'm smart enough to know I'd never stay that with the next mans dick.....Eeeeewwwwww...Hmmmm, I havent been to a water park in ages.....hoping this photography happens this summer.......after which its back to p90x.....The Tea Party can STILL choke and doggy nuts!!! I haven't forgotten 'em......when I'm crib hunting first thing I do is inspect the toilet. I need a deep bowl so the "biz" doesnt hit the water....that equals the WORST feeling....every time I see shoe shine stations I get pissed off......Sometimes "F%@* aint the world, more like DESTROY!!!!!

End of a 3 month Vacation.........RAMBLE TIME!!!!!!

Quickiest 3 months I've ever had it's not even funny........things really do play out right in God's time.....this "vacation" period always gives me a great control space to look back and review my actions, completed goals and those around me. LOL, got more confirmation that NO ONE is 100% single these days.Hey Adults do adult things and really don't have to apologize for it.....Nothing makes me realize how much I miss a person then a good hug.....Twitter still sucks balls.......Insanity is going great and I'm already looking forward to when it's done so I can start the next fitness plan.....The future looks like it'll include a 2nd job.....oh well, get money. I like wild curly hair.I like it a lot.....This Guardian stuff never gets dull...."crazy angles" are the best angles......Quite a few people will be complaining about not hearing from me or me being too busy but tuff break.You had 3 months to catch up with me soooo clearly it wasn't that important.....You ever see that most do nothing people always quoting the "deepest" stuff? I'm like damn none of these quotes and laws apply 1 bit to ya actual life. .....When I stop in think of it I do a lot of work on these blogs...I contribute to like maybe 6-7 of them in one way or another.....I've got to better focus my multi-tasking....are blowjobs mandatory?I mean would I leave a relationship over it?Yeah Random thoughts....On the real side I like being proven right in certain situations. My language tolerance is getting worse....now I don't like hear females calling each other bitches....DAMN I'M GETTING OLD!!!!!.....Bright Eyes had no clue who Kat Stacks is.....Thank you for that.....I kind of think that we all to differing degrees have a desire to have our lives seen by the public.....

And here we go.......

...I find myself keeping it real P.C to avoid hurting feelings, I dont like that.Be hurt now with the truth then live with a lie....I was stood up by a girl early in high school on a summer saturday.I waited 2 hrs for her so we could go to the mall on the bus......from that point on I've had issue with waiting on females.....As I get older I'm becoming so observant of peoples actions.....people are getting lost online....their believe own press and forgetting who thhey are in real life....I had been ULTRA frustrated for the past 10 days are so but today it ended.Not cuz I had some action but that so many females I spoke too had issues to day it just drained the "need a release" feelings out of me......I have a problem with Sonogram pix online.....I should have seen Avatar a while ago.....the majority of females I LOVE outside of my family come with a male in the picture(past or present) that I do not like....maybe even hate.It my be someone that violated, might be an ex or a friend that I dont trust. I don't apologize for this feeling either. Sprint is pissing me off waiting for this new Tour BB....you ever have someone get mad at you for NOT getting mad at them. I've never understood that. I'll always avoid drama. I see more and more that LOVE is not the only thing that does into a relationship working....getting my on place will be the highlight on this year...The NExus will succeed...You ever say something important or express something that really maatters to you and the person your expressing this too just gives you the most bland/whatever type replies??? It makes talking to a wall seem inviting. The need for conversational compatibility is so serious. Yet I can listen to everything from everybody else? Smh....Evita understands this. It's funny how much she gets it. From the other side of the planet no less. I have a rule that if we're cool and I travel to your city/area I let u know I'm there. I may eliminate that rule.....Please,please have an altoid.....I insist. Outside of Jae Millz all of Young Money soun dlike variations of Wayne. Why do so many broke people came to understand how Jay-Z operates. Saying is not easy....it really isn't.No, saying No is HARD but its needed....I'm soooo focused on getting my body to another level...."jaw dropping level"...I will not let this NY housing market beat me....If you post something on Facebook why do you then "like" it as well. You dont co-sign yaself man......69 in ATL with a splash of cherry vodka....no good?Doggie in NY with some Zombies??Wishful thinking I know. This Toyota mess has me all jammed up. I dont know what to look at....Ok,ok I waited like 2 months but finally saw Avatar in 3D.Great movie.Hadn't mind seeing it again. I kinda of feel like I'm back to the beginning of my blogger experience.I went through a period of high activity now it pretty quiet....oh well,in the end its still my lil space.

.......rambling session coming soon.....

...I'm realizing A LOT of the things I do and the ways I see things socially are based on the various early incidents I had as a kid with females. That akward stage still has some roots in me......

At full attention.....

When the quiet giggly unassuming female flips the script from cute shoes, make-up brushes, and glamour bags to shower sex and hair grabs, yes you've got my attention. Even if she merely finds my attentive state amusing I keep doing what your doing. Sex Therapy status lord knows she can have it. Airtran where I stand she can reach low and grab it.Have an in depth conversation with it yes we get waist deep. She blows like the Gotham wind my composure gets weak. She's knows what she's doing and enjoys my reaction. Knows what I like and what has been lacking. Her expression is random here today gone as fast. I enjoy the mood when it hits, the lips when they lick. Matter fact both pair, I love the lips when they grip.

Maybe it'll happen then again maybe not.....I need a drink.....vodka....cherry......

Just thoughts Away from home.....

Monday Morning randoms......

How people party hard and go to work in the morning is beyond me........Simpin'is lame but I'd be lying if I acted like I haven't been one before......Dell has both annoyed and impressed me greatly in the past week.........Sprint,new Tour please.......I watched the most football in my life this season.....The Knicks best player is a white boy and he better be in the All Star game..........Evie's almost home.....what if farts were visible?.......From a convo this past week, She said "It says a lot about a guy that would have sex with an engaged woman" I replied, "True but it says more about her."....My soon to be former job has set up pay deductions to help Haiti.Nice......My interest in submissive intimacy is growing.I know I can control so I guess I'm curious to the other said of things.......this yr will be big......somethings ain't change with the new year...the best kinda sleep,liquor, food sex......so much good music coming out right now.......boobs and butt.Sometimes their just nice to look at.No rationale needed. I'm channeling the Rock and 50 cents respective workout plans(lol).......I MISS MY PEOPLES!!!!.......Hmmm, it's a very faint thought but I wonder how we would have been together...........I'm glad she's happy......Fuc ya "man".....Lame ass 2 bit criminal........I'm so over due for Wet Willie's and Puerto Suaga..........tell me why I entire exposed Triple H boob is cool as long as the nips are covered?........The stripper movement continues.........She's a pimp.That's why I love her.lol.........Blood and Sex = No bueno........where the hell is my breakfast!?!?.........Crackberry addicts take these phones sooooo serious......1st thing I saw in the club, chick with a goatee.Damn.......if I had twitter this is the type of random shit I'd be puttin' out there..........don't try to hide your true meaning behind big words.......I still miss her boy shorts........

Back To Business

I can feel it, Long overdue time for action
Been knowing the answers without even asking,
These walls closing in lead to only one escape route,
The path's bright light is the only thing I make out,
Tunnel running more miles then I could phathom,
Pushing myself past fear to joy I can't imagine,
New year new day usual time for projection
yet I understand the value and the worth of reflection,
Happy Holidays in the rear view a destination just passed,
God willing by his smercy it won't be my last,
Cuz Death was on his grind puttin' in triple overtime,
Very few untouched no immunity for mine,
You and me cried my tears on the inside hearing mom sob
from pain that we can't hide,
We can try but it'll manifest eventually tripling the hurt
and quadruple times intensity.
I've always given so much always gave the best of me,
Burn my image in the your minds eye solidify the memory,
I move forward with the knowledge every thought could be my last,
No fear of the reaper no longer chained by my past
Ready to ignite it's Blu Flame add the gas,
And let the fire spread forth illuminate with such force
and brillance, never fadin', unshaken the definition of resilient.
That's the hope, the deisre, the plan and goal,
Start with a spark as the plan unfolds,
Been watching while I walk taking notes and brain storming,
Security got shaken up but a with a faint degree of warning,
Now sink or swim has me smiling at the possibilities,
New motivation has me seeing my world so clearly,
Even through the darkness my visions like a Nighthawk,
Black Bruce Wayne had to throw in a lil "bat talk",
A dose of nerd juice getting back to my nerd roots,
Rambling line rhymes just how I used to do,
Opening the new year 2010 for the masses,
Well my followers aint that much but can fill a couple classes,
that's more then I expect and would ever try to ask for,
Just throwing out my thoughts just sneaking in the back door,
Here with no filter if you ask then you'll receive,
Request I'll delievery do my best to please,
As long as I'm true to me then my world you can witness,
Iiight enough with the word play lets get back to business.

Holiday Fail of EPIC proportions

I planned and organized the company party from start to finish this yr. In addition, with the provided budget I lined up an array of gift cards to make sure the employee, many of whom would be out of a job in 6 weeks, would get something they could use.$100 cards for Best Buy, Jet Blue, Victoria's Secret, etc,etc....All that was needed was my managers approval.

He didn't approve and went in a different direction.

Find out his gift selection after the damn jump.

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Sight and Sound

It's no mystery that as a guy same things are very simple about us. We like to be visually stimulated and we like to hear things. Dirty whispers, pet names whatever....hell just say what it is you wanna do. All I'm saying is that if u want a guy to feel wanted there's no reason you should fail at making that happen. The resources are too vast. So if you can't keep his attention then you may need to turn your creativity and imagination up a few notches.

Shout out to Ms.Nikks for sparking this thought the other day.

And with that simple statement it now makes me ask a question.Which would you prefer? A partner you are attracted to but who is weak when it comes to acting on and initiating more activity or a person your not as attracted to but who goes all out to in the "Sight and Sound" Dept?

Aren't you too grown for that?

Ok, there's nothing wrong with "keeping it real" when the time is appropriate but I'm sorry, there is nothing worse then an adult that doesn't know how to leave the hood at home when operating at work.

I'm not talking about the street skills that keep you with your eyes open ready to take advantage of an opportunity that others may not see. I mean the elements of it that make you wonder if so many of those stereotypes might be more on point then you want to admit. Do any of y'all have that extra loud co worker? The one that takes a personal phone call and then seems to be on the phone all day while broadcasting just how much her life sucks? Of course she thinks her life is the shit buuuuuuut we know better. And when you speak to this person she has any number of reasons why the other females in the office are "fake or shady" No, they just no better then deal with yo ass, screaming about their delinquent family members less then 12 feet from the Presidents office. How the hell you put the most ghetto person in the building as the receptionist?

Done.