48 hrs removed from the not guilty verdict for murderer George Zimmerman. While I've made a few remarks here and there, it is here on the Blvd that I always spill my inner most feelings and with this tragedy the emotions are plentiful. Anger washed over me that I did to great job of containing. Anger not from shock but from the blatant audacity of the situation we find ourselves in again. We, that's a funny word to use in this moment. Who are we? Well I guess that depends on who you are. You may be a Black man like me who is constantly feared and vilified. You may be a Black woman with Black men in your life you love and care about fully sharing the plight that comes with this nation. You may be a non Black man with only an inkling of what we go though yet even still you know this is wrong. You may be a non Black woman that has dedicated her heart to loving the Black man and supporting this struggle. What ever you're position in this all is you feel something. We all feel that to walk away free from the murder of an unarmed child is wrong.
I gain some peace from seeing the make up of the immediate rallies across this nation. It reminds me of the rally I was in when this all first started. To see young and old, black and white all unified in outrage gives us that glimpse at what this nation could be about.....not sure if it ever will be though. America gives you the ultimate gamblers chance as a Black man. You will have the chance to gain all you desire and work for but understand that you must SURVIVE. It's an all or nothing proposition and the forces you are going against will take you out if you give them the slightest reason. For the chance to have it all you live with a zero value placed on your life. That was the final statement made in this case. You're in your neighborhood? You're not doing anything wrong? You're unarmed? You're a good student? It does not matter at all if you are a Black man. You are to be viewed as an immediate threat no questions asked. You do not have the right to defend yourself no matter what is coming at you.
I'm a guardian and a protector by nature. When those I love are in that line of fire I step up. It hits me to the core of my soul that a young man that stood his ground was thrown away with such disregard. So as anger turned into pain and frustration I watched the reactions of the people. More hurt, pain, attempts to find answers, sarcasm, rage calls for revenge, etc.... But what hit me the hardest and definitely had me fighting back tears was hearing the mothers and fathers explaining the things they have say to their kids, the warnings and rules that come with being a black male in this world. I think back to the times my parents told me those same rules. It's not a game. They will lock you up. They will kill you.
Usually it's the police doing things like this. This was a weird set up in that this guy with no real power was essentially treated like a cop from the beginning. He wasn't even going to be arrested had the people not made noise for it. This case frustrated me and it really became apparent during closing statements. I had an interesting exchange on Twitter when I expressed my dismay with the prosecution. It was said to me "well your not a lawyer." and you know what this is true, but it doesn't take a lawyer to understand the difference between what the prosecution has to prove and the easier road the defense has to travel in raising doubt. I saw this and feared the result that we ended up getting. There is no waving of the "I was right" flag here. I wish with all my heart I was wrong.
So what do you do when you cant do nothing but there's nothing you can do?
You do what you can.
I will not walk with my head low in fear. Never have and definitely wont start now. I don't pretend to have all the answers as many others claim. The Internets are good for making everyone sound sure and good for something.....until it's time to put in that work. At a time where I personally have been feeling varying levels of disrespect and funny style energies, life drops this bomb that life is too short. Let go of those that only keep you around for there own convenient needs. Cause the Black man is viewed as very useful to many folk. Invest those energies in those that you love and equally love you in return. You control your life. Make sure that you write a grand legacy with it. Everyone isn't a militant freedom writer but whatever works best for you, whatever manner of expression comes most natural to you make it speak out for you and represent how you are and what you stand for.
