Still Realizing Truths......

For years I've really allowed others to set the tone of our relationships. Truthfully because I don't have a taste for conflict and didn't want to risk losing folk so I'd rather accommodate people to keep the peace. That was only a temporary fix and now I see the full picture so much clearer......I wont lose anyway that doesn't want to lose me.

No Time To Waste........

Image Via Fearless Leon

In Constant Need.........

Make A Decision......

Let's get right to it. I'm back and I see not a lot has changed. That's cool because I'm definitely charged up and ready to make things happen with or without folks. I told myself earlier in the year that I wasn't going into the summer wasting energy on those that 100% locked in with me. In truth it's not a hard thing to do but apparently its harder for others then I would have expected. Say what mean and mean what you say. What do you stand for? What are you working towards? These are all questions I've asked before. For the first 5-6 months of the year I've watched. I've observed. Who's just talking, who's just trying to get by without putting in some work? I see it and know who is who. I'm forgiving by nature but time is rolling on and objectives have to be met. People will get left behind unfortunately. Not because I want to but because I have to.

A question was given to me to apply to those I keep in my circle. If I treated them how they treat me would they want me as their friend? It's all pretty simple yet folk make it so complex. Lapses of communication, broken agreements....if we were doing business it would be grounds to void a contract but because its friendship the b.s is cool? No, no it is not.....

Let's see who's gonna be in the mix for these 2013 Summer days :) I want everyone I care about on board but it doesnt seem like that is going to happen....

It's About Making Adjustments

I've learned not to ask for much from folk.....for a few reasons. Let the final week in the month of me commence :)

Today I'm Learning About Selective Ignorance

Most information is time consuming, negative, irrelevant to your goals, and outside of your influence. I challenge you to look at whatever you read or watched today and tell me that it wasn't at least two of the four.

- From the 4 Hour Work Week

Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.

—ROBERT J. SAWYER, Calculating God

Tribe Tales of Sun, Fun, Film & Tears.....

The courtyard outside of compound

On day after Election Day I join Evita and 12 other members of the Nomadness Travel Tribe on one of our NomadnessX trips. The destination was Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic. From very early on in the trip it was clear things would be very interesting. As boarding began for our Jet Blue flight official word hit that Obama had won the elections! Announcements were made on the plane and the celebration began. The initial crew of 4, the set up team hit D.R after 4am and reached our stronghold after 5am. Just in time to catch the sun raising over our open courtyard interior.

Our open interior courtyard

Once the whole team assembled we began an incredible week of site seeing, dining out, cooking, drinking, extreme activities, charity and all around pleasure. In the midst of this new friendships were born, unknown family ties were unearthed and respect was earned on many levels.

Due to a few last minute cancellations it ended being my homie Mac' & I as the only men on the trip. Sounds like paradise right? Well it would have many, many high points but for those that know me and know my protective side it was a bit stressful at points too. Eventually I had to say to myself that "hey you can't watch over everyone all the time."

Bridge to the 1st Waterfall

It's far too much to recap in words but I can say this trip was very well balanced. It had equal levels of wild out "What happens here stays here" fun, bonding and enjoying the Dominican city scene, beach life, serious adult conversation, charitable reflective work and an amazing surprise that was apparently in the works for quite a while. Yeah Evita and Crew "GOT ME"...they got me good.

Mac' getting ready for the Beisbol' game....lol

Not just was this trip good in itself but it put us in a position to do more going forward and as such I think that Santo Domingo will be seeing more of us. More Pix and Vids coming soon!

The Ladies of the Tribe

Dealing With It.......

I feel like this period is what I was meant for. Not the stress and uncertainties of a relationship but the chase to be what I feel I'm supposed to be. My entire life I was told what folk foresaw for me. They saw success. And now as the environment around me shifts I'm trying to be just that. It's not easy, its quite hard, its frustrating, its full of self doubt, it's sprinkled with envy and questioning....it's already cost me thing that many have no idea of. I can't stop the pursuit but lord knows it takes a toll on me. I'm man.......but is it that simply a matter of my physical make up. Its a struggle, I must win.......no matter what.....

Not How It Used To Be.....

How do we come to define friendships? It seems to be a combo of what is shown to us, what we see from those around us and what we ourselves come to define it as. Regardless of what factor effected us most its an unavoidable fact that these relationships will change in time. What was the norm will become the rare exception. Over the past few years I've seen this happening and I've honestly tried to fight it in many cases. Unfortunately its a fight that is not in me to actually win. Friends grow apart. This happens due to various levels of life separation. People move away, people get married, start families, priorities change, interests change, time just doesn't allow it....or you're value to them just isn't what it used to be. No real crime in that, it's just life. People, reasons, seasons blah, blah, blah.....I know.

I've reached out to some folk who were fixtures in life who's "disappearances" didn't make sense to me. The effort needed in these cases to meet the status quo really wasn't much of anything. Which made that lack of movement that much hurtful. Yet it was many of these situations that taught that sometimes its not a physical tangible thing that's stopping people, its their mind set that no longer includes you. And that's often on a subconscious level. By subconscious I mean that if you speak to them they will never say a bad thing about you. They may deflect the reason for the distance, laugh it off and swear that it wont continue. Then the second you walk away it continues.

In the end I've come to accept that some connections will never be what they were for whatever the reason. Yeah should we link up again in the future it'll be all love but the hope on my end for the former level of consistency is fizzled out. I'm where I am and for some where I am is unreachable soil. 914 aka Antarctica aka the North Eastern Triangle...I don't know. It is what it is. I went through a period of really being upset about this. Now not so much. I do work well in quiet and solitude. And life has provided quite a batch of new friends and supporters, so let whatever hampers others from being mobile or reaching out be on them.

The story continues full speed ahead with no regrets. Those who elect to join the ride are welcome. If friendship has been earned along the way it will always be there even if in the most basic of forms.

Comes With the Territory

Oh You Mad.....

I've never subscribed to the Kat Williams view point that "Haters" were the prime measuring unit for your success, but I'm seeing first hand that there is a lil truth to it. Or perhaps its better to say that as the path of positive progression marches on, you can definitely expect some negative encounters that let you know you're moving in the right direction.

Checking In With Myself

I started Vlogging around 2006. It was a way to express myself while slowly utilizing technology that was new to me. About a yr into it a recorded a 7 or 8 part rambling rant. It was sparked by a female close to me but set off a lot of things that had been swirling in my head. I'm not gonna load the vid. Its on my youtube channel. Nearly 5 yrs later It's interesting seeing myself in the emotionally vulnerable state. I literally told myself after watching that vlog that I'd never be in that position again. To my surprise I've kept my word. Not to say that I've stopped feeling cuz that's far from it but to have taken full control of these emotions is quite the act of progress in my eyes.

Memories of Hustle Moves,Women & Free Rides....

With my current state of limited mobility. I find myself in a situation where I must locally entertain myself. New Rochelle has always been a great place to live but you had to be able to get out of town for any type of serious pleasure. We haven't had a shopping mall since the early 90's. There was an extended period during my youth when we can no movies. You had to either go to The Galleria, Cross County, Bay Plaza or Fordham Rd do anything. Pictured above is New Roc City. It's the local entertainment center that has movies, an arcade and few restaurants. The kids stake it over on weekends and all summer.....I'll find my moments to dip in a kill some time. Maybe I'm see if the old games I used to master are still in there.

When New Roc1st opened up it was just the arcade. I worked there because  my old boss from Playland (yes I worked at Playland too) was the hiring manager. This resulted in a nice reunion of old faces. Within the first couple months here I got comfy and strong armed my way into a supervisors position. Basically if I was gonna be given supervisor duties I promoted and refused to back down till my pay went up.

More after the Jumpington.........

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Kid Countdown

Yup, I have to admit it, as time passes on, the thought of family, kids and when to start do creep into my mind. And having hit the 30 mark I know if I'm going to do it then It'll be sooner rather then later. In truth I'm not really in a "rush". My dad had me at 30, so if I'm 2-3 yrs off of that mark then I can live with that. Keep the fitness up and the health right to be there for my kids through their youth. It's interesting cuz the other part of the equation, the female counterpart is really where the "issues" would arise. Me and my boys have chatted about this that many of the women we know are basically the same age as us and as a result many are in that clock watching phase. It'll be interesting to see how it all plays out. Those that just want kids but could care less for marriage. Those like me how want both.

I've seen many of my classmates from high school and college have their kids, get their marriage on, etc,etc. I guess that time eventually creeps up on everyone. We'll see. I have this year pegged as one for MAJOR progress personally in a few areas that need be improved before I can be a husband or father to anyone. That's way too serious for me to rush yet I'm aware that time isn't a luxury anymore......

A/S/L

Remember that? Those early 1^st generation online chat room folk should remember that well. Before it hit the original smaller social sites it was the common coded “question” that of the day. Age, Sex, Location….it was part simple question, part match maker, part security check. From what I remember, one of the interesting things about a/s/l was that you could tell a lot about a person based on how far into the convo that bring that up. If that was the 1^st thing a stranger presented you with it equated to “thirst”, especially if the profile had no picture. Lol, now if you can already had a legit convo happen and things are communicating smoothly you would more likely ask a/s/l after getting a proper name.

It’s just funny to think on it now how much of a stigma came with the idea of people meeting via the internets or the World Wide Web as it was better known. I think back a little more and remember that I was part of the early testing for Prodigy, which many consider to be the first online customer service except for perhaps CompuServe. Early testing’s took place for their email system and chat rooms. ESPN launched its first online service as a Prodigy “channel” along with gaming stations and music billboards. I was so fascinated by this new interactive system. I had no idea what was about to be ushered in the world. Forever changing the way we communicate, entertain and educate ourselves.

A/S/L
 
Can I have your email?
 
What’s your MySpace page?
 
Are you on Facebook?   
 
What’s your Twitter?.......................

Dirty 30???

After an enjoyable 30th birthday weekend it’s back on the grind and back to business. I did take a little time to reflect upon the decade that was for me. What did my 20’s give me? Love, Lust, Loss, Confusion, Self-Awareness, Self Appreciate, Doubt, Hope, Betrayal, Disappointment, Success, Respect, Hustle, Decisions, Growth. I could go on but you get the point.

While I don’t really feel that different today, I do think that the upcoming decade, if God grants me that much time on this earth, will be the application of the many things came to into my life. This will be the decade of family and establishment. Ideally I’ll have my first child and get married within these years. I’ll see the full force release and success of the Nexus.

Learning never stops so I’m not acting as if I know all that I need to know. But I’m confident in where I’m at in life and where I want to take things. My energy is up and focus sharp. Let’s see what happens.

Lesson Learned Over Time

Snatched this from BrightEyes Tumblr. A truthful and appropriate post.

You Know iSupport But Let's Do More........

This is the beginning of something I think will focus much positive energy toward a group that I think desires and needs it. The young  independent entrepreneurial business person. We all have people we support in this group are we are those people. We rally around many other things so It'd be great to see this grow. Check the video for more and comment with thoughts and questions.

Why iSupport from Nightfall 914 on Vimeo.

Nightfall takes time to introduce is iSupport platform of independent business appreciation.

Long overdue.....Back to the essence........

Last week I attended a family reunion in St. Croix which marked my 1st time back to any of my home islands in nearly 20 yrs. I had no idea it was that long an absence. In the day to day hustle of getting an education, entering the workforce, personal growth and evolution, it would seem I've overlook a key aspect of my overall make up. I've seen my family on a regular basis as they usually visit the states but this time it was the other way around. It felt go to get back to where I'm from......




More Pix after the Jump. You'll see some ruins that are the remains of a slave house on what was once an active plantation.

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I wonder.....

....do I work hard for the glory of the goal I'm pursuing or for the growth that comes during the pursuit. If the desire for a person brings about evolution in a man does it sting any less if his end desire isn't returned. How long do you press on before you simply take the growth for what it is and leave the target alone?