Being A Guardian Has Many Levels........

Like watching over someone when they rest rather then destroying the person that hurts them......

I'm Still The Best At What I Do........

Simply Acknowledge It 

Re Evaluating Myself

How do you feel so low yet feel so high at the same time.....

The depths of current situations plunging me into the abyss.....

The potential of life building steps moving upwards towards greatness....

So much of what I've defined myself by I'm questioning now....

It will either be the greatest validation or the most painful reality check yet.

It's in my nature to care but....

....I really cant afford to sometimes.

Balancing Act

As time passes I take on new roles, bigger positions but be clear I'm an Guardian still......my protective nature isn't a part of me......it IS ME! I'm watching always.....

Dont Lose Sight Of Who Really Matters

Guardian Always......

This weekend the Nomadness Tribe had our 3rd Official NYC Meet up. With my role within the group as a "behind the scenes" member and facilitator of sorts aka "High Council" I already know that people have an interesting if not funny view of me. It can't be what it seems. It must be more. There must be something going on. Why would a grown man ride so hard for this woman. I guess it seems weird to folk until their the one I'm riding for and looking out for. Then it's sweet, chivalrous and what not.

Many of us have dreams. Very few see those dreams manifest. I'm a part of that manifestation for one of my closest friends. You damn right I'm playing that guardian role in this. Not just for her but for those that have put so much faith in her. So for the doubters and jokers it's all good. I'ma be what I am and be it to the fullest.

It's Not My Fault I Dislike Your Man

I've had this convo with many of my guys who play the role of open ear, shoulder to cry on for our female friends. 99 outta 100 times the issue at hand is about a guy. We get that. But One thing I notice happens a lot is that when things are going well our friends disappear into their own world and share very little of the positive things this guy they're into is doing for them. But sure as the sun rises, when things go bad that's when the words flow out steady. I've seen it consistently for years. The end result of this imbalance is that I (we) naturally grow to dislike this man who you're so in Loooooovvvveeeee with. It's not our fault really. Without personally knowing the guy, we will have our impressions shaped from what we're told. The more negative we hear the more our vibes will swing 1 way while a healthy dose of the positive will have better results.

I have a healthy list of folk I don't like due to this.....

Guardian Moment........

Welcome to Arkham Asylum

The world of Gotham City has been presented in many forms. Comic, Animated and Hollywood film. This time a fan made production beautifully gives us yet another look at the toll taken on the mind and spirit that commits itself to endless battle against a never dying enemy.

Here's the 30 minute fan film's official synopsis:

When the Joker escapes from Arkham and murders the parents of a young boy, Batman recalls the pain of losing his own parents as a child. He is pushed past his limits to the point where his focus becomes revenge on all who stand in his way, including many of Gotham's underworld. Finally, Batman is forced to look at the psychological profile of his own mind and except the consequences of his life to find resolve.

View the 30 min short after the jump.

Read more »

Always For My People......

Sometimes you want to do more then you really can to protect for people....

My thoughts afte the jump.

Read more »

Lessons......

The guardian in me wants to help always. When my folk aren't happy I try to fix it the best I can. But sometimes good intentions can still have less then stellar results....

Ok lets Chat........

My name is Jason....but I go by a healthy list of nicCnames, aliases, aka's, etc....

When I turned 18 I got my first tattoo "Death Before Dishonor around a samurai sword.8 months later I got a guardian angel on my other arm. I'm not the first to have either one but at the time and still today they hold deep meaning for me. They represent what I believe, what I do and who I am. These feelings have various roots. At the heart of it is my family structure. I grew up in a 2 family house that was the "welcome mat to the hood". 9 Brook St which has been renamed Malcolm X Blvd. Anyway, I lived with both parents, a younger brother 2 aunts and a female cousin. That equals 4 older women raising me while my dad worked. Now my dad was and still is the central figure/example to me as he sufficiently provided for us all. But in this entry lets focus on the females effect on me. I had strong positive females around me and that through the years instilled a very protective nature in me towards females in general and an extremely protective nature to those that were close to me.

Fast forward to high school because until then my interaction with girls with limited. I was very Steve Urkelish so you can only imagine. Anyway, in my mind females were to be treated a particular and respected as such, so I was the old school gentleman helping and holding doors, blah, blah, blah. This was met with bewilderment and skepticism from females who thought "He must want something" I really didn't. It was just who I was. There reached a point where I started to doubt the logic that told me that this is how I should have been operating. But as fate would have it I got the ultimate reassurance from to females I had become very close with.They were twins, so I'll refer to them collectively as that. These twins arrived late in the junior school yr and took the whole place by storm.2 short, cute big booty(yet nicely proportioned) PR girls. They broke necCs throughout the whole place. Now yeah I thought they were cute but I wasn't pushing up on them.I was still a V trooper and not really concerned with sex. Anyway, we just ended all being cool. I went over their place to help with school work, being the high student I was,lol. I got cool with their younger cousins and to me it was just being a good friend.

I was on the basketball team and this is where I earned another aspect of my personality, a serious dislike for disrespectful guys. We're all in the locCer room and talk turns to females. I would get the "hey Zig(basketball niccname) whats good with you and the Twins?...I'd reply "Nothing.We're just cool" which would get its jeers but no one questioned it. I guess the idea of me "getting with" the 2 new hot girls wasn't something they felt could happen. Well then one of the team captains said. "Please **name withheld** is all on my shit.I'ma fucC her watch." Now I knew it wasn't on me to cocC blocC cuz I knew **name withheld** actually liked him but the slicC talk just never has sat well with me.

Before we all graduated these twins confined something very deep to me. The fact that prior to the establishment of our friendship that they were actually suicidal and that my showing them caring and compassion without any personal desires helped them get through the tough transition.They were the first people a social setting to tell me they loved me and that I was there guardian angel. So that's where it came from.

That Guardian position has maintained and evolved over the years. I now have females friends bigger issues, domestic issues, single parenting issues. I'm really earning my guardian title and while its difficult at times. I wear it proudly because its what I was built for. Buuuuut, its made me a little weird to some things. Its 2009 and lets be realistic I don't know or seriously doubt that any of my female friends are V troopers but I get my protective gut gets a funny feeling when my lady friends talk about sex. Now its not because I think their not having but rather.....I know so much about them and the guys they have dealt with that my guardian gear shoots into over drive and I feel that these bitch ass, fronting ass, lame ass clowns are worthy to be interacting with my folk like that. Yeah it's extreme I know but its what I am.

I love my people to degree that I really can't describe. There are billions of people walking this earth so excuse me if I'm a little protective of the handful that mean something to me. If there were armies of guys like me then it wouldn't matter.But then you have men like the ones that create THESE stories, someone has to be there to even the playing field.

Birds of a Feather....

This mos def sounds like something I'd do.It's good to know there may still be some giving souls out there.

........

So, tired of these lames saying and doing any and everything under the sun to get the pussy.



If one more person I know gets hurt over some bitch ass guy I swear I'll snap.