Re Evaluating Myself

How do you feel so low yet feel so high at the same time.....

The depths of current situations plunging me into the abyss.....

The potential of life building steps moving upwards towards greatness....

So much of what I've defined myself by I'm questioning now....

It will either be the greatest validation or the most painful reality check yet.

Just On Faith

I dont know what is going on right now.

I dont know why certain things are happening the way they are.

I dont know why so many people are behaving how they are.

I dont know what is causing this shift in energy.

I dont know exactly what I should be doing right now.

All I can do is trust that what I feel and what I'm holding myself to is right.

Hip Hop Still Playing with Faith I See

Not sure how I feel 'bout this.......

When I'm Down......

 I can admit that as a man I try to handle things on my own....I dont like asking for help in personal matters cuz I feel like it's a burden on others. This goes triple for my family. They raised me. They shouldnt have to do anything for me now. My parents cant stand that I think like that....I dont know what my world would be like without their support.

Is That How You See Me?

And old church in Antigua.......

When we exchange pleasantries do you think you are speaking to a fool?

When we converse do you think we are speaking to sheep?

When my name comes up do you think I am brainwashed?

Do you conveniently ignore that which I am or am I equally delusional in your eyes? 

I don't press my faith on people. What I believe and operate by for my own sanity and sense of conscious is, in my opinion a personal affair. I don't like religious believers that talk down to and constantly preach at those that do not believe. I don't like when people that don't believe feel the need to constant debunk the beliefs of others. 

I remember when the cutest girl in high school told me she didn't believe in a God. This surprised me because of the team she ran with who were Muslim, but it didn't decrease how much I liked her. Wish thing stayed like that. You don't worry about what I believe, I don't worry about your beliefs and if we're all genuinely good people, just be that .

The Everyday Struggle........

On the heels of a return from paradise a little time passes before life gets in you and reminds you what reality is. Another chin check to make you question it all. Curious what the point is of it all. Take a step forward then get tossed 2 steps backwards. You kinda’ have to laugh at it all. Laugh…have a drink…..laugh…have a drink, get some affection, have a drink, laugh……hit the gym, write…whatever the combination of action may be, you do what you must to avoid screaming to the heavens with tears of frustration streaming down your face. This is a period that will make or break many. The risk will have to get bigger. Have to make it happen no matter what…

Rapture, Raptors & Respect

So, it's another week of life on this planet earth. Lo and behold no planet shattering earthquake and no mass exodus of faithful followers into another realm of existence. This past Saturday as many people know was supposed to be what we of the Christian faith call the Rapture....well that's if you believed the specific teachings of certain preachers. Personally, I never subscribed to the May 21st ideas so It was really more of serious period of observation for me. The time leading up to the date in question allowed me to again view my peers as they expressed themselves concerning the upcoming Apocalypse.

To no real surprise the Internets were over flowing with "humor" and crude views on the Rapture topic. Many comical images and plays on the word rapture were popping up on blogs and tumblr sites. "Fear the Raptor", "The Raptor is Coming", etc, etc....those were cute but in addition to the jokes were those who saw this as merely another opportunity to bash the Christians. I'm not here to rally for my faith as truthfully no one disrespected me personally but on a whole I don't get the tone that overtakes so many when they log on. I have a simple Respect law. Watch your words towards Family, Friends & Faith. Those 3 F's are areas that I think as thoughtful adults you should show a a level of respect towards until your given a legit reason not to.

Is it because you can't physically see this higher power that folk degrade God. No matter what or whom you pray towards, I think it's one of the ultimate levels of tastelessness to act in such a manner. Maybe I'm just getting older and everything can't simply be excused as "jokes." When the basis of a whole faith/religion is the punchline of the joke it rarely THAT funny. That's not to mention the "Rapture" parties that were taking place to mock the the idea of what may have occurred. It kind of reminded me of Will Smith classic movie Independence Day where the people of the Invaded cities throw rooftop parties right under the Alien ships. It was fun to mock the situation until it got real. It all makes me wonder what is sacred in this society anymore. Everyone claims to "Not give a f**k." Is that true? Is existence really just one big punchline?

To all folk that matter to me I ask "What do you stand for?" "What is it that you represent?" There's never a comedic reply to that because while we all need laughter, we also need balance and respect. Don't we???

For some post May 21st Coverage hit here.

The Judgement Preacher Harold Camping Speaks

Macho Hits the Scene and Causes Delay in End Times?????

Clearly Macho Man believes Jesus was Black. LOL

End of Days, Atheists, Anti-Christian Attittudes..........

May 21st End of Days Thoughts & Views from Nightfall 914 on Vimeo.

Nightfall speaks on the May 21st Doom's Day Predictions....

Nightfall the Sunday School Teacher?????

Yeah I bet it sounds funny to many but that’s the circumstance I now find myself in. I’ve touched on the connection I have to my church before. 30+ yrs (I add the + due to my parents going to and getting married in this same church) I’ve been a constant there so the level of familiarity goes without saying. Anyway, last Sunday was interesting. I came in the building to the sound one of my favorite songs “Give Thanks” which I hadn’t heard in a while. That was a sign and I knew it the moment I heard it. I had things on my mind as well. Friends and associates that were/are seriously ill, the murder of friend Megatron, friends suffering recent close family death in their lives (hold your head Meka) and this life in general here and around the world is crazy.

Service goes on and eventually comes to a close and I make my rounds greeting the members of my small church family. One of the women there that runs a lot of the administrative things for the church asks if I have a moment and I tell her “Sure I’ll be right back.” I wanted to quickly go greet our pastor, who is also my god mother. While hugging her she says you really should “come from the back and step up to the front of the church.” I didn’t fully catch what she had said until later. Again this is a bit of foreshadowing as she had no idea what I was about to be asked. I go over to see what the sister wanted to ask me. Easter is in 2 weeks so I figured it was to briefly speak on something which isn’t new to me. Instead she says. “Brother Francis, we need a teacher for these young adults. I think you the perfect person to speak to them…” I was flattered but also unsure for a few reasons. I told her let’s try it out and see how it works but to keep in mind when I travel it’s usually on weekends. She agrees.

You see when I was younger and the idea church, faith and belief started becoming more then just that thing Mom and Dad were into I taught Sunday school for the younger kids. Speaking and operating in that manner aren’t new to me. But I’m not who I was then. The Jason that taught had never cursed, drank, never had sex….I was young and innocent. Now I’m grown, mature and anything but innocent. Imagine the Black Bruce Wayne teaching Sunday school…….the thing is it’s not that I don’t want to do it because I do. It’s a chance to give back. My Pastor runs a foster home as well and many of these kids that I’d be teaching live with her and have been raised by her over the past 4-6yrs. So for me to be called on to help transition those youths into adulthood is major. I just need to sure in myself that I’m giving these kids the real. I would die for my faith but I’m far from the ideal model Christian. Especially in the Lust/Physicality/Sex related area. I’m so used to things of that nature due to much of the business I’ve been around that I wonder if I’m being hypocritical. So as I look these Sunday lessons over and attempt to rationalize and connect those classic tales to modern reality I will be as much checking myself as I am these kids.

In the end this may spark the bigger change in me then anything else…..

"Leave it up to me while I be living proof....To kick the truth to the young black youth"

I Can't Say This is a False Statement

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.

— Mohandas Gandhi

I Just Need Simplicity

As little as I ask for...As little as I really need...Life just has to be complicated....Not surprised at this but still it's taxing at times.

...but today at least gave me a sparkle from the tunnels end.

I'll be thankful and embrace that tonight.....

Salute to one of the Greatest

Nesta Robert "Bob" Marley

Born 6 February 1945

President Obama Shares His Faith in the American Youth Via Uncle Russ

“I’ve always believed that here in America, every young person should be able to set goals and reach them; to discover their passions and follow them; and to earn their piece of the American Dream. That’s why, during the last two years, my Administration has worked hard to give people like you the opportunities you need to reach your potential and win the future. We passed the Affordable Care Act that allows young people to stay on their parents health care plan until they’re 26 – allowing more time to find a job that carries insurance.


“We reformed the student loan system to put billions of dollars back into the pockets of students paying for college instead of watching it pad the profits of big banks. We’ve invested in clean energy and encouraged a generation of innovators working to start the companies and build the technologies of the future. We’ve ended combat operations in Iraq and brought more than 90,000 troops home from the battlefield, and also made sure they get the care they have earned when they got back. And, even though there’s still a tremendous amount of work to be done, I promise that every decision I make in the years ahead will be made with you in mind. Each of you represents our hope for this country. Your generation will be the one leading America into the future. And if we do our part, I know you’ll make us proud.” -Barack Obama

More at GlobalGrind

Current Condition of the Black Church

Is the Black Church Dead?

I came the above article that asks the question "Is the Black Church Dead?" Yet uses "Dead" in a similar way to how Nas used it in "Hip Hop is Dead". It's not a full on end of existence but more like a serious departure from it's roots. Many of the things spoken on in this article are hard for me grasp. 25,000 people in a church, Financial Prosperity worship, etc,etc......is all a bit much for me and very far from what my church experience is.

I'm a part of a small church in NY. I don't know the culture of the southern "mega/super church". I don't trust things that large to be honest. And in almost 30 yrs of life I've never heard any messages of faith preached to me that would result in monetary gain. I do like the fact that this article shows that the "Black Church" is not some singular minded entity that has one way for seeing things and doing things. We differ just as every other aspect of society does.

I found this article to be an interesting read. Check it out if you have a few moments...

Inspiration through Tyler Perry as Madea.........Yeah I Know.

I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving. As I was letting one of the 3 plates of food I had settle last evening, mom wanted to check out the latest Madea play that apparently was given to her as a gift. I had no clue what it was. I thought it was an actual movie and but the stage plays. Anyway since it was a day of family we decided to watch it. Now I'm not one of those folk that bashes T.Perry. He seems real comfy with a few too many over the top stereotypes BUT the man has overcome more things then me and after losing his mom last yr I'm not going to beat on his path to success in this industry.

Now, the play ran the full spectrum from moving and mediocre but ended well and had some quality "life lessons" as well. For me personally, the highlight came at the end during the cast curtain call. Tyler spoke on dealing with the fact that people that he knew could help him and who he thought would help him didn't do so when he was pursuing his dream. While it was hurtful and disappointing, he revealed that the lesson he took from that was this. As god was providing the dream he was working so hard for, he made sure that there would no way for Tyler to give the credit to anyone but God when his time came. That made so much sense to me. As I'm dealing with the silence and false support and people it helps me to get past the ill feeling with a knowledge that dreams can be realized no matter what you think is against you as long as you keep on pressing.

I have no interest in the Madea plays to be honest withy'all but I'm thankful for what I saw yesterday.

Happy Thanksgiving

Here on the BLVD I wish that you all have a Great Thanksgiving full of good food, dear company and meaningful reflection on everything your blessed to have in life. ;)

It's the smaller things that make the difference.......

While I do may best to "be good" I've realized that this years trials and rough moments have touched my spiritual core in a way. Not in a "there is no God" type of way but more so in the little things that I do that don't seem major to others but I notice them.

I was always one to say prayers before sleep and right thing in the morning. Prayer has become much more sporadic. Is it because I'm tired of the disappointments I've had to endure this year? Getting hopes up and then having to say to myself well if it didn't happen God must have a plan for it. Inside I know that's true but I'm human and after awhile I can only do so much before I feel let down.

So, I need to get back to that form of internal personal communication.....

Positively charge for Productivity

I dont know how it will happen. I dont know why I think it will be so but I feel this week will be a good one.

God willing it will be.

Science Vs Faith Vs Nature

I always find the underlining messages of Faith vs Science vs Nature to be so interesting in these end of the world movies. Films like "The Day After Tomorrow" and "2012" always have those scenes of the faithful masses getting wiped away in their last ditch attempts at prayer. It does make me wonder just what the "End of Days" emergency plan is between the governments because I know they have something cooked up.