Rambling at 9pm......

I'm emotionally tired. Not in a beat down manner but the energies needed to make certain things happen are just not in me at the moment. They've been spent trying to make things happen and when they don't pan out it takes time to get those energies back. Funny thing is that while the energy is low, emotions rarely run out. So you want what you want, you miss who you miss regardless of what the circumstances are. My outward presentation to the world is stoic and calm. But there are a few that know me better then that. Even fewer that do their part to help make life a little more pleasant.

As I think about the future I wonder what I'd tell my child about dealing with their feelings and the opposite sex. Would I tell my son to be open and expressive? To man up and never show weakness? Would I tell my princess what the majority of boys really want. Yeah I'm getting ahead of myself by that's how my mind works. I'm built a particular way. It's all I know and it's all that's worked for me.

I've grown and continue to do so. I look back at previous years, good times, relationships and break ups, my reactions to them, achievements and disappointments.....so much has happened. God willing so much more to experience. Yet I'm tired.....I'm tired of repetitious actions or lack of action. Words with no works. How long is it supposed to pass. We'll see....