Love Explained Simply

Hmmmmmmmmm

Ever Feel Like This?

Aren't Options Great :)

Rambling......About US

You ever just sit alone in the dark and let your mind zone,

And take a hard look at the world and all that you find wrong,

I escape my physical to think its almost a ritual kinda thing,

This world that we inhabit habitually makes me sick,

Loving my people to no end, family, close friends,

Even those that don’t know sending positive vibes by the boatloads,

But for some there’s no hope though with burdens that won’t go,

And they project that to the masses through bitterness and sarcasm,

Till I wish they would flee lose all that damn internet access,

See for me I need limits on your freedom of speech,

All the whining bout heaux shit's misdirected to me,

See for every complaint there is an ounce of admission,

A confession of your life and the elements missing,

Security lacking yes the support that you don’t have,

Insult the next girl because of issues with your man,

Elementary Watson really just a simple equation,

To extract the truth from what these women be saying,

Quote a lil Beyonce for independence and sass, 

Make sure we stay updated every time you get some ass,

Cat fight with other woman, be childish be mean,

Then demand of us men to address you as Queen,

Had to laff at that exhale, lean back

A lot of y’all are quite a sight and a sorry one at that…..

As I sit remaining focused I will not exclude my brothers,

Witness to y’all antics it really is no wonder,

Not a mystery at all why our female are turning Dyke,

Not the sisters alone but brown, yellow and white,

I lost my V-Hood to an Asian, who later said she was BI,

It was easier to her then trying to deal with most guys,

Lesson early learned the when a woman has been wronged,

The road back to normalcy can be twisted and long,

 Good girls disenchanted, no courting no romancing,

A victim of ill odds and society’s social “advancements”

It has lames feeling privileged thinking their so deserving,

Of honor and accolades what the hell is y’all sniffing,

For every true lady that she says “no” 10 “blah” chicks go down willingly,

So I guess that has you feeling that’s the way that it’ll always be,

Many get high off the fame once they’ve made it in the game,

Really got no Juice beside the initials in the name,

Forgot who rode with you and so supportive never neglectful,

Was on the brink of getting cut fix ya face get disrespectful?

Really couldn’t believe the statement I was reading,

Could imagine my home girls tears rolling and heavy breathing,

 Juvenile and unacceptable the thoughts on my side turn malicious,

“Jay he spoke to me so filthy like I was just one of his bitches,

I can’t take my people hurting, low & despondent,

To deliver equal suffering is all I now wanted,

So pissed off I wanna go eye for an eye

She’s still hurt still numb being objectified,

But it’s a man’s way and it’s a man’s world,

Man defined by conquests and stacking women up,

Messing with their hearts maybe even shacking up,

Avoid the pitfalls Mags never running out,

Morning after pills or maybe finish in her mouth,

We do what we want never with a 2^nd thought,

Replace her fast with a female with a much meaner walk,

Their interchangeable accessories re-arrangable,

Most without a clue of the great pain we have done to you,

Men see simple logic play hard to build numbers,

Y’all shed tears face fears become mothers,

A canyon in between us so few properly bridge,

So in truth I’m not surprised at the sloppy way we live,

I’m not exempt as I fight to keep the urges down,

Pour out another drink swirl the rum ‘round,

I keep in isolation for fear of what I might do,

Avoid places cuz I know who I’ll bump into,

A lil head would help it’s only one night,

An old flame twitters me and says I’m looking right,

Compliments appreciated but I know whats the end goal,

An old time romp capped off in her end hole,

Yes so filthy that’s why I keep it calm and easy,

I’m the largest person in the room but no body sees me,

That’s how I like it move smooth and silent,

It’s not doing down until the time I decide it,

See thats my big fear to end up another hypocrite,

Unwed, bastard seed just another nigga statistic,

So beauty comes at me I find myself running from her,

It’s safer to just peep the porn on tumblr,

I wanna make a movie but scared to cast it,

Would run thru a couple Gigs if I’d only ask it,

But I mask it Never let the masses in,

Letting too many behind the glass is how it all begins,

How I fall to Sin, Give in to temptations,

Knowing the holy teachings that I’m repeatedly breaking,

Life’s a constant lesson I hope to pass the final test,

But at least I know I gave my all went all out to do my best………

Rambling on Hump Day

Sometimes I just have to sit and think. I wonder why I do the things I do. I many times wonder just how my actions are perceived. Few people get me and how I move. Others question why I don’t take more advantage of certain positions I’m in. There are those that I honestly feel just tolerate me in a cordial manner but could really care less if I’m around or not. Not mad at that, its reality. It’s weird how I find myself double guessing, doubting, and at times going against my natural instincts. It’s said that it’s easier to be cold, mean and uncaring but I think I’ve grown past that stage. I see negativity as being so much harder to deal with and so oppressive to your environment. I just don’t see why I’d elect to dwell in that. So, I’m Mr Nice guy but that’s nothing new, my actions are done 1^st from the heart because I try to treat folk how I’d like to be treated. Yes, how I’d like to be treated which alludes to the fact that I’m not really treated like that. So while I don’t seek a specific reaction from the things I do. I ALWAYS am aware of what the response is. Again not due to expectation but as to better monitor who I give and direct energy too. Are you someone that says “Good Morning” to people? Do you randomly check on your peoples to make sure their ok? Yeah? That’s nice……you ever stop and see how many do the same towards you? Is the number relatively even? No? It drops off a bit? Yeah I hate when that happens too. 

Anyway, is it just assumed that communication with the opposite HAS to have a sexual side meaning? Perhaps I need to befriend some flat chested mid western white women so my every move doesn’t have a suspicious eye on it. But the eyes have been watching for years, no reason to think they’ll stop now. I honestly feel that I keep a pretty diverse group of friends. I surround myself and populate my inner circle with powerful respective people, many who are females. They know what it is so that’s all that matters. If I’m seen chatting with anyone who’s pretty, curves are too on point, chest too large, hair too curly or I’m being "too nice" it’s gotta be something....right?. Sometimes I have to remind myself that many people overlook or are oblivious to my background and just how accustomed I am to female's physically. Counting and collecting money in a stripper locker room or office will do that to you……among other things.  I can truthfully say I’m a social guy and have no issue speaking with and being around attractive folk. I control my actions at the end of the day. 

I was an ugly duckling (as were most people) so I can appreciate both sides of things. I’m cool with models and mothers, singers and strippers, artists and asshole, that’s life. In the end it’s all funny to me. I don’t ever fight or argue over it. I’ll let you think I’m trying to do something while I’m in my home alone reading comic books. The general population should be thankful that my "less female sensitive side" was short lived yrs ago. Someone of my intelligence could cause a lot of damage without restraints in place. Lord believe me that it’s not always easy to NOT do something but that’s the battle you wage daily. It’s what enables me to be “real”. Not in the “I’m keeping it real” sense but in the “I don’t want to be a hypocrite” sense. 

I begin working with my church's Sunday School this Sunday. Easter Sunday, the biblical importance is evident but for me it’s a giving back. While talking this over with people I said that I wasn’t getting my self up and extra 3-4 hrs earlier on Sunday just to recite old bible stories to these kids. I need to connect real life, our reality to a faith based on a time extreme and foreign to us. These young adults I’ll be dealing with, Middle School/High School students I believe are in the cross hairs of a lot of things. You have young boys thinking their men…..young girls thinking their women and I throw myself into the mix to attempt to effect change. NO ONE knows the full extent to things I’ve been involved in. Various people know some, NOBODY knows all. And to make the needed points with these kids I may need to share some of the darker corners of me just so they can connect and see how it all relates. There is always a bigger picture. My moves are never singular or random. Pieces to the puzzle, chess moves, turns to solve the rubics cube. But, y’all just assume I’m a 6ft 5in 225lbs flirt. Ok I can live with that. Lol. People always understand after the fact , that is how it works with me. So you don’t need to get it right now….

Sooo Snooki was clearly spying on me.........

Awwwww. Thanks Snooki!!!

Oh Yeah!!!!

Just a Random Thought for the Morning: Chelsea Handler

Does anyone really find her to be THAT funny? I don't know, her act just seems very "blah" to me...

Here she is with Mel B (YUM) as her guest.

2192232124

The Consistently Inconsistent or “Trigger Words”

It’s no secret that I am a man who is big on communication in its varying styles and forms. I feel that people say so much more about themselves then what the actual words they say and type mean. In addition to that we are also creatures of habit who act in patterns if given enough of an opportunity.

So what happens to me is that I have people that always seem intrigued and show interest in things I do. So when I present the opportunity to act on the interest they flake. The follow up never happens and the no action takes place. This happens to me a lot and I’m only fortunate that he occurs online versus me wasting time and physical energy to met and converse with a person. I’ve learned to handle this is a few ways.

1)It allows me to know who to take serious.

2)In avoiding the “talkers” I’ve come to figure the “trigger words” for many people.

“Trigger Words” are words or sayings that a specific person says that represents their level of commitment to an action. (This can be positive or negative)

Yes, believe it or not many of us give away our true intentions in our speech. So it’s knowing that even though he/she said they would call back the odds and past history say its not going to happen so have a plan B. It’s the person you ask for help that replies affirmatively but you know that you better ask someone else as well as back up. It happens so much it’s actually funny now. Especially when I reveal my lack of faith in a person and it’s the classic. “Nooo that’s not true.”

It’s true…it’s damned true.

Happy Hump Day

Get ya mind right....

Former VH1 Chick "Prancer" randomly re-emerges

Sooooo somehow these "personal" pix mysteriously hit the net. This only gets light cuz it's Hump Day.....The clock reads 14:59:50.

Monday Morning randoms......

How people party hard and go to work in the morning is beyond me........Simpin'is lame but I'd be lying if I acted like I haven't been one before......Dell has both annoyed and impressed me greatly in the past week.........Sprint,new Tour please.......I watched the most football in my life this season.....The Knicks best player is a white boy and he better be in the All Star game..........Evie's almost home.....what if farts were visible?.......From a convo this past week, She said "It says a lot about a guy that would have sex with an engaged woman" I replied, "True but it says more about her."....My soon to be former job has set up pay deductions to help Haiti.Nice......My interest in submissive intimacy is growing.I know I can control so I guess I'm curious to the other said of things.......this yr will be big......somethings ain't change with the new year...the best kinda sleep,liquor, food sex......so much good music coming out right now.......boobs and butt.Sometimes their just nice to look at.No rationale needed. I'm channeling the Rock and 50 cents respective workout plans(lol).......I MISS MY PEOPLES!!!!.......Hmmm, it's a very faint thought but I wonder how we would have been together...........I'm glad she's happy......Fuc ya "man".....Lame ass 2 bit criminal........I'm so over due for Wet Willie's and Puerto Suaga..........tell me why I entire exposed Triple H boob is cool as long as the nips are covered?........The stripper movement continues.........She's a pimp.That's why I love her.lol.........Blood and Sex = No bueno........where the hell is my breakfast!?!?.........Crackberry addicts take these phones sooooo serious......1st thing I saw in the club, chick with a goatee.Damn.......if I had twitter this is the type of random shit I'd be puttin' out there..........don't try to hide your true meaning behind big words.......I still miss her boy shorts........

Aren't you too grown for that?

Ok, there's nothing wrong with "keeping it real" when the time is appropriate but I'm sorry, there is nothing worse then an adult that doesn't know how to leave the hood at home when operating at work.

I'm not talking about the street skills that keep you with your eyes open ready to take advantage of an opportunity that others may not see. I mean the elements of it that make you wonder if so many of those stereotypes might be more on point then you want to admit. Do any of y'all have that extra loud co worker? The one that takes a personal phone call and then seems to be on the phone all day while broadcasting just how much her life sucks? Of course she thinks her life is the shit buuuuuuut we know better. And when you speak to this person she has any number of reasons why the other females in the office are "fake or shady" No, they just no better then deal with yo ass, screaming about their delinquent family members less then 12 feet from the Presidents office. How the hell you put the most ghetto person in the building as the receptionist?

Done.

Monday Night Ramblington

I've done some of my best work in the cold time to do it again....being more efficient then the people you "work under" sucks balls..........2 tires down 2 more to go.......I still love my truck...........Maybe I can get some ink in time for some of these photo shoots......Blu,Black,Tan...yellow?.......Speechless.Smiling but speechless.......the twizzlers did break......I already know in 2 I'll be hearing "why didn't you tell me".........you're multitasking seems to be lacking when weed isn't involved.....lol, twitter celebrity is still funny......over nearly a decade I got the answer to a long over due question and seeing the answer just make me more angry.......I need to get back to physical writing to balance off the blogging......I'm not feeling my body at the moment.....but that makes for monstrous motivation.....man these wrestlers are getting old......this month is filling up with things to do and places to be rapidly.....Jasmine Cashmere and Mika Tan, does it exist.......Watched some Charlie brown this past weekend so I'm officially in the holiday spirit......Hmmm damn we've been for a while now.......sometimes your in the mood sometimes your not but your last explanation made sense so I understand......"You should take me for Valentines Day".....so said the young single mom I've meant twice in my whole life with the fuck buddy constantly referenced in her BBM status......yeah I was laughing too........I need a new fragrance to try out.....suggestions?.....you get attention for ya curves but ya mind can earn commitment.........turn to Playboy: Bang My Enchilada......***DEAD***.............

Movie house Snacks......

This is random as hell but I'm now sooooo in the mood for candy. Like I just want to hit the movies to get an over sized pack of Twizzlers and Junior Mints.....with the popcorn and soda(w/ Bacardi) of course. Hmmmmmmm I might just do that.

You may be on to Something Jae

Yeah my homegurl Jae just blogged about how the "love bug" seems to be striking a lot of people. I see it too which in part is a beautiful thing, BUT I also find it as a great experiment in people watching and observation. How does new love effect or change you? I see a lot of folk "disappear" off the social radar with only remind status messages and whatnot as proof of their continued existence which doubles as direct/indirect "Yeah I'm in Love" semi-bragging. It's funny that this behavior has been so consistent in people since I first logged on to the internet in 99'.

People are very much creatures of habit. Love is one of those few things that's as predictable as it is unpredictable. Hmmmm, people watching is oh so interesting.....drink time.....

Me and She

2002

Ok so for years on my online travels I've written and chronicled many of the things that have effected me and played a major role in the man I've grown to be. Well this woman has played a PIVOTAL role in that. Everyone has a person that gets to them, that at times can be both your strength and/or your weakness. She's that individual to me. It's a hell of friendship and I wouldn't have it any other way. We've had mega Ups and Super down but for whatever reason we're always bound to cross paths and make sure the other is good.

The references I make to "Lonelynites", in all honesty, she was as directly responsible for that in her own way as any single person. Long story but the end result is me being who I am today, so its good. The Love is super strong and beyond words, which says something considering how wordy I am. It's a Me and Her thing I guess. Anyway, Pix and a Vid of our randomness during her NY visit. Its an Online view of my Offline world.....

Kinky or Crazy

Technology rules all. By merely having the latest phone the average person has video, photographic and audio recording options at their fingertips so it's only a matter of time before said person gets a little curious to the full range of his media capabilities. ;) Yeah, yeah it's not too subtle but whatever. I wanna make a movie (or 2) of some "type" This isn't brought on by any celeb stunt or leaked material. I just want to make one and see how it goes down from a different stand point. Within the course of focusing on my health and fitness and what not I really was hit with the urge to put my physicality to use in a new entertaining way. Shoot a lil POV(look it up) action, A bedroom scene, maybe a shower scene, and who knows what else. Now if and when this happens is completely unknown to me. But please believe it will. ;)

HAPPY HUMP DAY

Always glad to make it to Wednesday. No real witty Hump inspiring thoughts at the moment. My mind is a lil jumbled and the recent wave of online foolishness doesn't have me thinking about sex enough to write on it. But hey I'm a guy so any moment something may get me in that mood. We'll see it's still early......perhaps I'll find a spark somewhere or from someone.


I need inspiration dammit!!!!!!

Monday Madness

Ummmm yeah. Here we go....

This month is almost over already??!What?Memorial day is next week and I feel like 2 weeks behind. Finances are a little tight.Not unexpectedly but still tight.

The fitness side of things is going great but on the flip side I need to take a couple hrs and make some real progress in this book.

I need some relief....that's an open ended statement as relief can be any number of things.

Other random stuff.......Swizz Beats finally speaks on Alicia(anyone that can find love iSUPPORT).......Boston gets sent home(Tuff Break Rondo)......I find that Boyfriend #2 Song to be silly as hell.......The world still seem to be Drake crazy(I'm still not sure what it is but maybe I'll catch on later.)......I'm waiting on an answer to a question that may or may not severely effect a friendship.....Had a great Nexus meeting.......breakfast is never filling enough for me anymore......want IHOP.

Friday stress and late nite Vodka has me........

.....needing some comfort.No words.Just comfort........so random.