Blu Flame Blvd.: Twisted Comedy

Showing posts with label Twisted Comedy. Show all posts

Sunday, September 23, 2012

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

A Porn Parody of Dark Knight Rises is Coming (Pun Intended)

Yup...this is the world we live in.....

The plot (which can be experienced as a 21-minute "Non-Sex" cut that's included) is particularly interesting, because it's very obvious from the start that Braun was trying to piece together something that would mirror The Dark Knight Rises, based on information gleaned from trailers and early reports. With the effort of trying to get Dark Knight XXX released at the same time as its big-budget Hollywood counterpart, Braun is making a parody of a movie he hasn't actually seen, which is seriously intriguing, despite the fact that it's about as far from my taste as it possibly could be.

** More Details Here**

Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Filthiest Joke Ever Hidden in a Children's Movie

One of the most beloved and oft-quoted moments in the ridiculously beloved and oft-quoted film Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is the sequence in which the unbalanced candymaker displays his newest invention: lickable wallpaper. As the children and their guardians go to town on the wallpaper, Wonka declares: "Lick an orange. It tastes like an orange. The strawberries taste like strawberries! The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!"

We laugh, because "snozzberries" is obviously a fanciful, fictional word, and nobody knows what they really were. Except that Roald Dahl, the book's author, knew exactly what snozzberries were: They're dicks. Snozzberries are dicks. Willy Wonka made those kids lick dick-flavored wallpaper. It turns out the guy who thought a story about an insane recluse casually murdering a group of children had a pretty fucked up sense of humor.

In 1979, Dahl decided to revisit snozzberries in his adult novel My Uncle Oswald. The equally witty and disgusting story revolves around Oswald Hendryks Cornelius, the titular uncle and "greatest fornicator of all time." Along with his sexy accomplice Yasmin Howcomely, he devises a complicated get-rich-quick scheme that involves Howcomely seducing Europe's most famous men and then selling used condoms full of their spent semen to women wishing to birth famous progeny. Please take some time to remind yourself that this book was written by one of the world's most beloved children's authors.

The term "snozzberry" comes up when Yasmin Howcomely recounts her experience with George Bernard Shaw:

"How did you manage to roll the old rubbery thing on him?"

"There's only one way when they get violent," Yasmin said. "I grabbed hold of his snozzberry and hung onto it like grim death and gave it a twist or two to make him hold still."

"Ow."

"Very effective."

"I'll bet it is."

"You can lead them around anywhere you want like that."

"I'm sure."

"It's like putting a twitch on a horse."

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was written in 1964, 15 years before My Uncle Oswald revealed that the wallpaper was made to taste like the head of a penis. In the strictest sense of the term, we're pretty sure this makes Willy Wonka a pedophile. And honestly, we're not that surprised.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Soft As Tissue Paper

So I read about the Tracey Morgan situation and I'm sorry, while I get the issue involved, I'm personally tired. I'm tired of folk being made to make lame ass apologies cuz some group is hurt or offended. We are a SOFT ASS NATION!!! You wanna say "fa**ot", "Ni**er" then say it. Say it and own it! These publicist branded "I'm sorry" messages are just P.R moves that hold no weight in regards to what the person feels. And right now Gay folk are the "special" group of the hour.

I mean how do we have shows like South Park and Family Guy yet a comedian can't have the freedom to say what he wants at his own show????

**UPDATE**

After initially supporting Tracy Morgan in the wake of his anti-gay comments, Chris Rock has done an about-face after hearing what Morgan actually said.

“Tracy Morgan is a tad off we all know that so when tracy says something i usually don’t take it anymore serious than i would a statement from gary busey or flavor flav. when i first heard the statement i thought it was offensive but it also reminded me of my father saying ill kill you if you ever bring home a white girl but afterreading everything tracy said. wow i get it that s–t wasn’t called for and i don’t support it at all. now can i please go to the tony awards without getting my ass kicked.” - Chris Rock