Torture....

We all have the ability to hurt. Causing pain is in us long before the concept of forgiveness. But torture is to take delight and placing a person or persons in a position of pain or discomfort. Many times they are in no immediate position to stop this torture either.

I laid in my bed last night feeling that sort of pain. I'm a protector. I always have been and I always will. "Guardian" inked on my arm for over a decade. And out stand of my family there's few a people that fall under that next level of protection. That's the Love circle which is home to my "people". Anyway, last night after reading the blog of one of these people I felt a pain, a confusion and a since of helplessness that was pure torture to me. Cripple a basketball player in his prime then place him front row at the NBA playoffs, bring a new born baby to a woman that just had a miscarriage,etc,etc..you get the point. Watching the hurt and discomfort of my people and not being able to ease it tortures me.


The comic panels I've inserted throughout this post kind of show a dramatic version of what I feel. Coincidentally the black guy in the story is a Jason as well, who is being force to watch the murder of his Love at the hands of this evil undead being. Now obviously, I"m not worried about super powered zombies hurting the person in question but similarly to the comic, when cries of love can't do anything, when faced with the idea of never being able to see or experience interactions with someone that means a lot to you......it's torture.


Now there is a flip side to this. The classic whatever doesn't kill only makes you stronger belief and I do subscribe to that. I forgot who said this to me but I was told that sometimes the biggest test for a person that always wants to help out is knowing when to stand still and let people help themselves. I've always had trouble with that because I ALWAYS act. Even if it puts me in a bad position I'd rather that I be in that spot then them, so that idea is still something I'm working on.


The best thing I can do is remember what Evita told me the other day. That "everything will work itself out." She's real big on the Universe effecting things and the Laws of Attraction and what not. She's doing big things so I'll take her word and try to let life run it's natural course.

It's just hard to watch sometimes.......