Rambling at 1am..........I Think Too Much

That's something I do and I fully accept it as pat of how I operate....The world feeds you so much info so rapidly I can help but think on whats happening outside of my knowledge....The combination of communicative tools, human ego, the need for attention and just plane old common sense swirls around in my head to create. Whats being said about you that you never hear?.....If I can hear the things that are said to me in confidence about others then I've never been naive enough to talk such chatter hasn't happened about me as well. Logic and Averages.....A recent convo raised a good point that the issue of hypocrisy is so relative because we ALL are hypocrites at one point or another........It may not be known to others but it happens. It may not be your prevailing trait but put the right set of circumstances together and you'll break you're rules in a million pieces.....I work well w/ people in general but I love when a business opportunity can succeed w/ women. If you haven't realized it many of them are leading the pack on the entrepreneurial side of things....BUT, notice I said "WHEN".....many a potential great dealing has been derailed simply because for all the independent, modern woman chat that makes for great quotes. I case of "new found love" (or just good dick) has distracted potential partners to the point of having to leave the projects alone. It's a gamble to be honest....Powerful is the woman that doesn't swing her life in a complete 180 degree turn cuz "Mr Right Now" has showed up. I say that cuz if the guy IS really all that he won't allow himself to become a distraction......buuuuuut that's just me and I'm learning my way of thinking doesn't correlate with folk much......Hoping for a great time in Toronto but as always I'm keeping myself prepared for any and everything......Nothings for certain. I know enough about the variables in play to plan accordingly......I don't ever wish ill and unhappiness on others but I take serious exception to those that seek my aid, support, comfort etc....then disappear once things improve.....its not a grudge I hold but it memory that will but fade......years of friendship isn't an invincible shield against foolishness....we have to grow up....Yes we all have our vices but I certain maturity level has to be their.......hopefully....Is omission of the complete truth a lie? Not telling what a person doesn't need to know?......Not sure.....It's in my nature to make people bigger and better then what they may actually be. Especially in a world where many 1st impressions are digital. Your slick words may be quotes taken from else where....your picture required 15 takes to get the right lighting and angle to show what you like but hide what you're insecure about....build on the positive and hope the negative never surfaces.....I've had folk till me plenty times I'm "nicer" or "not as mean" in person. I think honestly I'm just more str8 forward and stoic online. I don't try to express great emotion generally speaking on the Internets.....at least not off the Blvd. I've always let it be known that those curious of me will inquire and if the result is that I'm nicer in person then hey that's better then the opposite reaction....

Mini Ramble at 1am.....

What Love without Action?........What Action without Feeling? Can you really maintain one without the other? If so for how long? Believe it or not their are times when I'd take a hug and kiss over raunchy, sweaty, sticky grind time...There's really nothing wrong with getting older.....This economy suxx ginormous balls but it may pave the way to really getting the Nexus in it's proper direction.....I miss Miami.......I wont let this break me......tumblr has me in image over load and I think played  a huge role in Hump Day going on vacation.....I'm already seeing fitness progress.....the digital eye can be very deceiving.....don't wanna see another person quote the 48 laws of power yet cant keep the power to their own cell phone on....I truly feel more appreciated when I get quiet and stay to myself......the things I've experienced in life especially on the social side have caused me to develop a real mind frame of not apologizing for anything I do as long as it's not disrespectful.......

Not liking what I see...............

I'm scared for the youth......they are losing any and all understnading of the word "privacy"........there are no "thoughts" only tweets and posts.....I truly respect the silent so much more.......I'm nervous for a lot of the decisions my people are making.......I make me appreciate others so much more.......I'm losing to the ability to feel sorry for many people.......we have more control over life then we own up to......if you want it you get it period.Thats universal.....this yr will be one of MANY decisions on many levels.......Statistics are growing.Ugh......watching N.J.......just act out of character one time place.surprise me dammit.......never trust a big butt and smile.lol......It oversaturated and juvenile now but I miss Myspace.......Sundays wedding was big for many reasons........Trying to containment this "energy".......fitness 2010 is going very well.....birthday prep time is pretty much here.......Ink,Ink,Ink, that tattoo needle please.......Up until recently I worked a full time job and a 12-4am night hustle in other words you get no sympathy from me.......it would seem that the interest in blogging is leaving many people.......I'm missing Miami greatly.....

Might as well accept it.........we're all strange

You can be 16....26..36......hell 66.

Men and Women DO NOT view the world even remotely similar.Over the various sites and a decade of online activity I think I can say that is the biggest thing I've seen in the communications of numerous people.A lot of us guys come across as overly simplistic animals and so many females seem to be the these beautiful yet utterly delusional, illogical creatures of mystery. I think the less energy you spend trying to solve the riddles and the more energy you put into embracing our complexities the smoother things become.

Escapism........

In my mind, everything goes the way I want it. Some people talk more. Some people talk less.Some act.Some fall bacC.No restraints.

Shields down......

I can count on 1 hand how many females I've slept with. Not how many I've had sex with but actually shared a bed with in terms of sleeping overnight. It's not something I do quicCly or easily. Granted the few instances that it's happened are with people that I care for and trust but its a lil symbolic to me. When I sleep its my most vulnerable time. It's when all guards are down. Its rest in every sense of the world so for me to feel comfortable enough to share that space is a lot in my eyes.
Perhaps that's weird but hey its me.

My Time.....

Jillz wondered if you ever hear lonely....I did...I do...the heaters hiss doesn't bother me...the low electric hum of energy through out my building....when I hear these sounds among others.....my guard is down.Not to the world but towards myself....this is where the saint meets the sinner....the criminal meets the guardian....where fear meets confidence....the time that 1 side of me want to be having a sexual field day while another would rather be reading.

Within my time I juggle the multitude of thoughts that rarely have answers.It's not the calm or meditation or the restlessness of insomnia....its just my time.No rules, no boundaries.....my allowance of insanity....with sum Alicia Keys in the baccground.

It is what it is.......

You ever assume that folk will act or react a particular way because you feel you know them? I see that assumptions don't always make an ass out of people but sometimes their just reminders of things we need to adjust in life. In my assuming isn't bad depending on what the assumption is towards. Realistically, its only the people closet to you or that you care about the most that can let you down. I remember this happening over the years and while I realized that you will never be able to end let downs and disappointments. I can control if you suffer from repeated pain or new fresh pain. New pains mean your growing and life is changing around you. Repeating the same assumptions and subsequent let downs are signs of insanity; repeating the same actions and expecting different results.

I'd always say "ok this person or this situation got the best of me." I'd embrace the let down and hurt for all it was worth and once I internalized the lesson of the hurt, I evolved and moved on. If you hurt me with a body blow then you better improve your hook cuz the body is protected now. So, that result is me today Jason 2K9....Nightfall XP.LoL. I still have emotions as strong as ever but with a reliable on/off switch for protection. I love my people for the goods and bads. No person is the total pacCage. Peoples interests differ. We all have selfish, ego centric traits and they show up at times with us not even knowing it.

I've come to a point that I make sure anything I do is cleared by my own personal goals and beliefs first. After that if any one else likes it its frosting on the cake and if the world could care less then hey no harm no foul.