Business, never personal......

...wish it was that easy. Many times the decision you need/have to make is not what you want to make.

...Not Sure About Anything..........

I'm in a period of serious self evaluation, soul searching and questioning. This year has thrown challenges at me at a rapid pace and while I feel I've been able to avoid being knocked down, I'm mad that I haven't made any progress forward. I'm not here to just get by. I was at a lil bbq yesterday in Y-O and I was chattin' with a childhood friend of my friend who happens to live in the same town as me, about all the old hustle and side jobs I used to have. It was later that night that it struck how much I've abandoned that. Not to mention my frustration that I didn't save more of that money. I was the guy that was down for anything that had a nice payoff. To avoid being used up by greed and run into the ground, I stepped back and become the guy that would be anything for a select few. No money needed.

So now where am I. The employment instability is pressure. Life's unexpected issues is pressure. The social conversational life of a late 20's adult now includes marriage, cohabitation, kids and all those other life impacting topics. It's not a game anymore. I'm recollecting my sense right now. More within my own private spaces then for the masses to see. Either a fall and become a regular guy or a remain the unique force I've been for so long.

Time will tell.

After the jump is a piece that was emailed to me from Evita's significant other. It was something shared with him that adds an interesting perspective to where I and maybe a lot of people are at in life right now. Keep a open mind to the basic ideas.

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Y'all were kicking him in Year 1.......

....and in year 2 Obama is gettin' it in and making change. He was never the messiah that many were making him out to be but he was never the Anti-Christ either and 1/2 way through his 1st term I can say that I have personally seen his moves improve my family. From the addition adult grants for education that allowed and paid for my moms extra schooling to the overall improvement in the employment situation that gave me my new job, I've seen change.



I just want to hear some positive support to balance everyone's gripes back in 2009.There's still massive work to be done but lets acknowledge whats been done.

More Job Info Here

Be Dat!!!!!

Like this in public......


See the bedroom version after the jump....

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Mom knows best.....

I know where I get my optimistic view of life and it's crazy circumstances from. It's definitely something I got from my mom. Her job unceremoniously laid her off back in May and things were a lil rough while trying to adapt but she always had a positive view on things. So as I prepare to exit the work force, this Friday marks her last day of unemployment before starting her new job on Monday.

Everything happens for a reason.

If your THAT GUY you'll understand......

Gabrielle Union said the following amidst your Global Grind blog post today.

There’s something about a platonic, non-sexual male voice in your life, ideally your parent, your father, relative or brother, which should be a steady, consistent source of nothing but positivity. And having this friend inspired me to reach out to my own dad and tell him that he’s got to tell my niece everyday that she is a beautiful princess. I can tell her that she has a lovely jump shot, or she does well in school, but what she’s gonna start looking out for from other people, from other men, is to tell her how beautiful she is, and she’s gonna find validation in all the wrong ways. So, it is important to be that mentor, to be that guiding figure in her life, so she doesn’t accept validation from the wrong places.

This strikes me as a very important role that needs to be filled in a females life, IMO. We are creatures of habit and routine. What we do repeatedly and what is done to us works it's way into shaping who we are. Being that support and that affirmation for a person can go so far into helping them become comfortable in their skin.

It goes both ways too. I thank my people like Jillz and Evita cuz they understand me and my position in the world and they make it their business to drop those positive and complimentary words on my every so often. They know how a lil word or 2 can keep me sane in a world that isn't too fond of me.

I feel this applies to people of all ages. As a friend, a true friend I think it's a small thing to do for my people to be that GUY.

A lil depth to my "Turn Off" blog

Just a lil "explanation" in regards to this previous blog.

Pass these Words of Encourgement on.....

This is from My Super Homie Jillian's Blog. If your not on it then you need to be. She dropped this last night and asked my to pass the positivity. SO I'm here doing my part and hoping you'll do the same.

This weeks TOTW is a little late...it's been a heavy hearted type of day. I don't usually duplicate messages on Mondays....but this one was unavoidable...As I sit here and listen to Beyonce's "Me, Myself, and I"...I've just been reflecting on today's events that have inspired this week's thought..this weeks very emotional thought.

I got a call this morning on my way to work from my boss. He said, "Don't go into work today." Immediately my heart dropped...am I getting fired?

Quick flashback...the biggest reason I moved from Phoenix was because I got laid off from the company I worked for for seven years. That was my first experience with losing a job. It was a very emotionally devastating experience. One that has definitely made me stronger and ultimately led me to many blessings, but nonetheless during the experience it was very hard...very tough.

Back to today...I simply respond with a very hesitant Okaaay. He then proceeds to tell me that there isn't any bad news for me...I'm okay...but today the office will be very unpleasant as they will be letting several people go...so it might be best for me to work from home. He said I could go in if I wanted to...but I am welcome to work from home today. (Pause as Lyfe Jennings sings "Must Be Nice" right now...) So I spent my day fielding phone calls...setting up conference calls for my managers to inform their reps in the field...instant messaging some of my coworkers to see if they were okay...to see if they were "still there". In my previous situation, I wasn't cut the first time...I was let go in the second set of lay-offs. So needless to say, this whole ordeal has made me uneasy...has brought my heart and mind back to a dim place. I may exhale a sigh of relief...but I truly inhale sorrow and sadness for those that were let go. So...I don't know what this means or where this is going...but I just know that I am okay jobwise...for now.

This week I so genuinely and deeply encourage anyone...everyone who has been through or is going through a tough time right now...to feel yourself through this moment...truly FEEL yourself through...because that's all it is...a mere moment in this journey of your life. Being tough doesn't mean to be hard and callous...it just means to be resilient...walk through this moment fearlessly and know that you will come through it all...on top of it all. I can testify to that...truly. So even though the burden may weigh heavy on your shoulders...that just means you can hold your head up that much higher. Everything will be okay.....everything will be okay.

= Know Your Greatness =

Me and She

2002

Ok so for years on my online travels I've written and chronicled many of the things that have effected me and played a major role in the man I've grown to be. Well this woman has played a PIVOTAL role in that. Everyone has a person that gets to them, that at times can be both your strength and/or your weakness. She's that individual to me. It's a hell of friendship and I wouldn't have it any other way. We've had mega Ups and Super down but for whatever reason we're always bound to cross paths and make sure the other is good.

The references I make to "Lonelynites", in all honesty, she was as directly responsible for that in her own way as any single person. Long story but the end result is me being who I am today, so its good. The Love is super strong and beyond words, which says something considering how wordy I am. It's a Me and Her thing I guess. Anyway, Pix and a Vid of our randomness during her NY visit. Its an Online view of my Offline world.....

Home is where the Heart is.