It's Like That Some Times.........

Got My Reading Glasses On….

So this past Saturday I met up with a friend to cool out and just get my mind right. As she chatted on her recent issues I couldn’t help but realize that again I was right. All my people know I observe my surroundings. This is offline and online. I watch before I speak. I see people’s patterns, behavioral styles; it’s just how I am. So in listening to my friend tell her story it was actually like hearing it for a second time. I had to interrupt to ask a question and satisfy my own curiosity. “Ay, is this story about you and what’s his face from the party??” Stunned look, pause, she laughs……”Yeah it is but it wasn’t that serious at that point. How’d You?”  “It was pretty apparent, at least to me it was.” In truth, I personally care little for people business in that way but I like knowing my perceptive abilities are still on par. I need to be able to know what’s going on around me at all times. This is especially important regarding how men and women interact because the source of so many issues and ugly situations ends up being somehow related to that. And with me having a good number of close female friends the Guardian in me is just naturally on the look out. 

Honestly it’s very hard to conceal chemistry, or the spark or whatever you wanna call it. As guys I it’s more nature and harder to read or maybe you have to be a woman to notice it. But in observing a woman, and how one acts around certain people you can see the difference. It’s all over her face, her eyes, and the slight physical interactions that only happen between them. I see the invisible writing and I read it well.       

Interesting Man Marriage Stats.....

I see truth in a lot of this information.

IS HE OLD ENOUGH TO MARRY?
This survey uncovered some interesting facts. The first was that there is an age when a man is ready to marry-the Age of Commitment. The age varies from man to man, but there are patterns that are easily identified:

* Most men who graduate from high school start thinking of marriage as a real possibility when they are twenty-three or twenty-four.
* Most men who graduate from college don’t start considering marriage as a real possibility until age twenty-six.
* When men go to graduate school, it takes them longer to get into the working world, and they’re not ready to get married until a few years after that.
* Ninety percent of men who have graduated from college are ready for the next step between ages twenty-six and thirty-three; this is when they are most likely to consider marriage. But this window of opportunity stays open only for four to five years, and then the chances a man will marry start to decline.
* A majority of college graduates between twenty-eight and thirty-three are in their high-commitment years and likely to propose.
* This period for well-educated men lasts just a bit over five years. The chances men will commit are sightly less when they are thirty-one or thirty-two than when they were between twenty-eight and thirty, but they’re still in a high-commitment phase.
* Once men reach thirty-three or thirty-four, the chances they’ll commit start to diminish, but only slightly. Until men reach thirty-seven, they remain very good prospects.
* After age thirty-eight, the chances they will ever marry drop dramatically.
* The chances that a man will marry for the first time diminish even more once he reaches forty-two or forty-three. At this point, many men become confirmed bachelors.
* Once men reach age forty-seven to fifty without marrying, the chances they will marry do not disappear, but they drop dramatically.

Full Article Here

What We Look For In Y'all?????

Via the Modern Day Matchmaker

Feel good actions.

Simple question. Ladies, a male friend very close and dear to you comes into some tough times. What things have you done to make him feel better. This can apply to a friend, crush, boyfriend, etc....

I'm looking for real life example and also how were your actions received by this person?

Ms Nikks Drops a "Feel Good" Jewel

You know I need to provide a lil positivity in the middle of the madness, so straight for Ms.Nikks blog comes will reminder to treat that special guy in your life every so often and show him that his struggle isn't in vain. Here are her words and please drop by her spot for more jewels.

“Is there any boys around that know how to make a girl feel? That wanna make a girl feel, make her feel good?” -Teairra Mari

I remember hearing this song a few years ago and it made me think of how much we women complain. Myself included, hence the we. We are always complaining about not understanding men or why they do the things they do. We are a miserable set of beings, us women. Some most days a man can’t catch a break! We nag, bitch, whine, and complain about a lot of shit.

For generations the Black man has suffered attack upon attack on his character, strength, and masculinity. Not giving them an excuse, but watching your women raped, your children ripped from their mother’s breasts, and auctioned like farm equipment can do that to any man. He had to stand still and watch. The Black woman had to be strong and hold it together. So we grew up with generations of women saying “I don’t need you, I can do for myself!” We need to stop that talk and lift the man up. Learn how to let a man be a man.

Sometimes we need to do the things for them that we want them to do for us. I suggest the following for starters:

1. Run him a hot bath when he gets homes.

2. Next time he’s at the kitchen counter or looking out the window thinking, go up behind him and put our arms around him. Hold him tight. (Approach with caution, if he’s been in the big house, we don’t want flashbacks of Big Mike trying to be up on him. I’m jus’ sayin…)

3. Let him rest between your legs on the couch and rest his head on your bosom.

4. Watch him while he sleeps and tell him how peaceful he looks when he’s asleep.

5. Send him flowers or a card, a blank card, fill it with your own thoughts of him. What you love about him, your fondest memory of him, etc.

Those are just a few suggestions to MAKE HIM FEEL GOOD! A man might not be able to express exactly what he wants from us, but at the end of the day, they want the same thing most human beings want and need. LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, COMPASSION, AND ACCEPTANCE. Stay tuned for Pt. II

Nikks :P

This is Why iSUPPORT her.

Via her Facebook and Twitter pages, Evita says;

"..wants all the Sistas out there to let the men in their life know that they are important to them today. our men matter."

Those are the types of messages we like to wake up and See. It really doesn't take much to make a real man, a secure man feel his true worth.Thanks Evie on behalf of all of us that feel a lil under valued every so often.

Is anything too much????

On to another topic. Ideally men are(should be) brought up as leaders, fathers, providers, husbands, etc....Now within the various expectations and duties that go into being a man. What things should a guy willing be able to ask for without feeling he is not falling short of his manhood? Or better yet, ladies what things do you/would go into a relationship willing to do for a man you love. I'm not talking about meet at the club and cool. I'm referencing a relationship that can very realistically lead to marriage. I females that say they'd give their mates manicures and pedicures, shave them where needed, etc and I know females that think that's nasty? So What lengths would you be willing to go to?(And I don't mean something extreme like sharing ya man with the Miami Heat dancers.lol)

Random Quote for Contemplation

Just got hit with an interesting quote.

Women decide who they will allow to sleep with them but men decide who they will make a wife.

Question from Ludacris.....

Snatched this from his twitter....

"Ladies What is a guaranteed way that a man can tell if you are faking an orgasm? Does your man even care?"

Ladies, GO IN!!!!!

Let's keep the movement moving.....

Following in the "Tell it like it is" footsteps of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. We have this little piece of internet Him/Her knowledge. It's an old piece that was posted under the “Is It Better To Settle For Less or Be Alone” post from a black man over on Blackvoices but hell read it anyway. It's harsher in tone then Steve's words but equally relevant.

The following comment was posted under the “Is It Better To Settle For Less or Be Alone” post from a black man over on Blackvoices.

Bottom line-if I sleep with a woman I don’t know or care about SEX is NOT going to make me care. That kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he’s through. He ain’t sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt scratching it. He’s moving on with his life until that spot itches again and it don’t matter which hand he scratches it with, just as long as he gets rid of the itch.

Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them and pretend we’re having a “relationship” when it’s NOTHING but a boooty call. Come on, ladies, y’all know I’m telling the truth.

Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with us BEFORE you know us or what we’re about. Having sex with a man does not automatically make that a “relationship”. Many women will deny they think like this but I’m speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at the other woman. Now what kind of sense does that make? Why should that woman make YOU(a total stranger) a priority in her life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE. The “other woman” is not breaking up a “happy home”.

Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down the aisle didn’t change who he was. Why should he change? YOU let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long.

Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to stop “rewarding” unfaithful men by pretending it ain’t happening. All of us Black Men (BM) do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don’t buy the hype. I know other BM who do not but many men WILL cheat if there are NO real penalties for it.

Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON’T KNOW. That means fewer opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle.

Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame them for everything? And don’t be so vain. You are NOT a better woman than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT.

Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did you ask if he’s married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. Stop INTERPRETING the meaning of what he says to fit your purposes.

If he says, “I’m not lookin’ for nothing right now” - DON’T tell yourself, “Aw, he just scared of getting hurt. I can change his mind..” NO YOU CAN’T. He said exactly what the hell he meant. BM don’t have to lie when so many BW are already DEAF.

If you can’t answer BASIC questions about a man DON’T OPEN YOUR LEGS. I could kinda understand back in the days when sex wouldn’t KILL people but now? There’s no excuse and if a BW takes that huge risk of sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself - sexually AND emotionally.

Show our d*ck to the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don’t be afraid to be alone. After you give our d*ck some you will probably be alone anyway but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your time and check us out. If we REALLY like you, we’ll stick around. BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just because you had sex with us. That’s not how it works, baby

You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the same as I am. Blaming the man won’t change a damn thing. BW have to look in the mirror and take SOME of the blame for what’s wrong with BM/BW relationships. Let me end by saying….

SEX DOES NOT EQUAL A RELATIONSHIP. GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESN’T WANT TO. A MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODY, IF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF.

IF HE DOESN’T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HIM? IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS? BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. NO, YOUR PUSSY IS NOT MADE OF GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT.

Ladies read this and let it sink in......seriously

There is no truer statement: men are simple. Get this into your head first and everything you learn about us in this book will begin to fall into place. Once you get that down, you'll have to understand a few essential truths: men are driven by who they are, what they do, and how much they make. No matter if a man is a CEO, a CON, or both, everything he does is filtered through his title (who he is), how he gets that title (what he does), and the reward he gets for the effort (how much he makes). These three things make up the basic DNA of manhood- the three accomplishments every man must achieve before he feels like he's truly fulfilled his destiny as a man. And until he's achieved his goal in those three areas, the man you're dating, committed to, or married to will be too busy to focus on you.

- Steve Harvey
Opening of his new book Act like a Lady but think like a Man.

You smell me?

Haven't tried this before.Thats Puffy's new I AM KING, But I'm curiosu how it smells.



These others are just personal faves.

There was a reason mommy told you to make'em wait......

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